Mistress160's Abode

When the reality of play beats fantasy (part 2 - Ms160)

2012-01-28T23:43:00.001+11:00

A while back S(A)X kindly gifted us an anal hook. We've always wanted to try one of these.

Last weekend I said to sol, "I'd really like to take some photos of you wearing that anal hook so we we can post them on S(A)X's blog ... to make the photos hotter I'll also put you in the steel urethral dilator Steve Sax asked us to try out". I liked the idea of sol being encased in metal front and back.

We discussed two different ways for the anal hook to be worn. The first was via a waist rope harness. We decided to use TwistedMonk's hemp rope, which has a lovely feel and the dark color always looks good against sol's skin.

We assembled what we'd need for the scene:

camera
anal hook (cleaned)
lube
rope
tissues
gloves (for easy clean up and also I can take them off and have lube free hands if I want to take a photo)
plastic garbage bag to throw everything in to
the ratchet we use for CBT

sol had a small enema and while resting afterwards I had him knot the rope through the anal hook:

I positioned him on the bed like this:

I snapped on my gloves, lubed up and began to work on sol:

I lubed the hook:

It easily slid into sol. I took off my gloves, wiped the lube off sol and took this photo:

Here sol is tying the waist harness off at the back:

I really loved the look of that steel hook, it gleamed and shined:

Which reminded me it was time to install the urethral dilator around sol's other side:

With lots of lube, and keeping in mind that it is curved, I placed the device in sol's urethra. We then tied the device to the waist harness with our red CBT cord:

We took some photos and then it was time for the second part of the scene...

I removed the urethral device and the rope and cord, then attached the anal hook to the ratchet we use for CBT play, which has a permanent attachment point above our bed:

This was extremely erotic for me, tightening the ratchet cm by cm:

And lifting sol's ass higher and higher:

I was getting very wet ... it was time for Mistress to get some personal attention lol. I removed the hook, cleaned sol and had him lie down on our bed. I then attached clover clamps to his nipples:

I had sol attach the red CBT cord to the clover clamps. You can see me doing a test pull in the photo below:

This was so I could pull on those cords and yank the clover clamps sharply while sol was going down on me.

This was - if you will excuse the pun - the climax of this scene for me. It was incredibly erotic to have sol literally moan into me ... what made it so hot was both the sound he makes and the fact that each sound vibrated through me as his lips and tongue pleasured me. It was absolutely exquisite, coming during such agony...

After I came I removed the clamps (causing more pain lol) and allowed sol to masturbate while I tortured his nipples further:

It really was a fantastic afternoon. I remember how sol told me the other day that a particular scene had been better than his fantasies. I felt the same about my own orgasm today. Some scenes really do come together perfectly :)

Photos:

Ms160

Nipple Sucker play

2012-01-23T16:41:00.000+11:00

Yesterday we held Fet's Northern NSW group first munch of the year at our friends Satet and alexpierce's Black Rabbit Open Day.

They had an amazing array of toys there, everyone was having a lot of fun trying to work out what various toys did :). We purchased some medical staplers and then Satet drew my attention to an interesting pair of suction devices for nipples:

Satet and Alex's website product info reads:

"SDN015 2-Piece Power Nipple Suckers: These simple and powerful nipple suckers are perfect for anyone looking for some consistent, strong suction. All you have to do is place the base of the sucker firmly against the nipple to create a seal, and then twist the easy-grip control cap to create immediate suction. Enjoy a light sucking sensation or twist the knob further to create a serious vacuum. Just turn the cap backward to return the internal plunger to its original position and release the suction when you are ready."

We had to buy these! sol has extremely sensitive nipples but we'd never explored using suction on them. We couldn't wait to try these out, so before sol left for work this morning we had a quick play. First some saliva to help create the seal:

And then I placed one on each nipple and began to twist:

They looked like this:

sol of course wanted them twisted tighter lol ... so I obliged:

The suction pulls the nipple into the chamber of the device, expanding the nipple’s length and width. The suction increases the blood flow to the area, stimulating all the nerve endings, which become even more sensitive than usual. Now I definitely had sol's attention ... in several ways, if you include that hard-on!:

I instructed him to masturbate while I continued my explorations, twisting further:

I was a bit worried that the little bit of hair around sol's nipples might have broken the seal but it was fine. As sol used his hand to wank:

I used my hands to try pulling on the devices:

And pulling further:

Then I tried tapping my fingers hard against each device:

As well as tapping sol's balls hard:

It wasn't long before he requested permission to come:

The devices were quickly undone and removed, leaving sol's nipples like this:

By the time he was dressed for work they were almost back to normal:

End result:

While we've done cupping before, these little devices are really easy to use and need minimal preparation.
They are easy to attach during play, you can use saliva to seal them and there are no problems with twisting the device, the cap is easy to grip
Unlike (for example) clover clamps (which we love) you can control the amount of pressure, just giving pleasure to those who prefer it, but easy to keep twisting the device up to a painful level if desired
Once sealed they support themselves which frees your hands up for other things
They are easy to clean.
They'd also be okay to travel with, you could put them amongst the shampoo / etc bottles in your toilet bag
They fit perfectly on the nipples but we are already thinking about other ways of applying them.

These were really fun. We look forward to using them again :)

When the reality of play beats fantasy (part 1 - sol)

2012-01-15T19:32:00.000+11:00

It's always a magical day when you can make one of your partner's long term fantasies come true ... and an even better day when he tells you later that the reality was even better than the fantasy!

You might remember we posted some photos of sol's latest construction:

We asked readers if they had any idea of it's function. One reader thought it might be a James Bond torture testicles chair, which was a good idea and indeed it could be used for that. Another emailed to ask if it was another queening stool, and again it can do that.

Time for the big reveal ... in sol's words:

"My latest woodwork project is a stool designed specifically so that Mistress can pee directly into my mouth, comfortably and with little fuss. "

Pee play has been a part of our D/s relationship for several years. We know it's not for everyone but if it's something that interests you we sincerely encourage you to try it. We wasted a lot of time not communicating clearly about our shared desires.

Here are some of the water sports scenes we've posted about:

Our first play with pee
Male subs drank their Mistress' pee in champagne glasses as a reward at the end of a tea party
Part 1 of a really great scene: Subspace as 20,000 feet
Part 2: The Infamous Film Canister Reappears
How to do pee play on long car trips

Sol wrote about his interest in pee play in that first post:

"For a long time I had been interested in adding "watersports" (specifically drinking Mistress160's pee) to our bdsm repertoire. I had tried dropping ever so subtle hints - so subtle, She says,they were almost nonexistent. Eventually we managed to communicate and She agreed this was something She wanted to try, too...

"As an aside here, one difficulty I (and I think many other submissives) have in communicating our desires is that we want to be "forced" to do something that is taboo and unpleasant. If I could go to my Wife one morning and say "please Ma'am, may I drink your pee ?", then it wouldn't press my buttons. I want the delicious submissive cravings for a situation where She simply pushes me to my knees, says "now don't you dare spill a drop", and pisses in my mouth without me having a say in it at all. Of course in the real world this won't happen unless we talk about what my needs and desires are and how they fit in with Her needs and desires...

"The idea of providing 'toilet service' to my Mistress has been part of my fantasies for almost as long as I can remember, with origins probably reaching back to my almost pre-sexual submissive fantasies of childhood. How thoroughly degrading it would be to drink Her pee, to be Her toilet. How convenient it would be for Her if, on a cold winter's night, instead of having to get out of bed to take a pee, She could just wake me up and have me crawl under the sheets. Or in a dark, near-deserted cinema ... for me to crawl under Her skirt so she doesn't have to miss a minute of the film ... and then to sit with a bladder bursting, and having to ask (and be denied!) permission. Mmmm ... But all things need to begin somewhere ...

"Fantasizing about midnight 'service' under the covers may be well and good, but could turn into a very messy and uncomfortable night changing the bed and airing the mattress if it all goes wrong. We decided that taking a shower together (after She had consumed so many glasses of water that 'performance anxiety' wouldn't be a problem) would be the ideal place to start.

That first scene, our first real attempt, was very powerful for sol:

"One week in August we were staying in a house that had a shower almost big enough to lie down in, and I noticed in the morning that She was a little more bright-eyed than usual. We went in to shower together, and for five minutes or so we enjoyed the warm water, washed each other down with soap, and allowed the steam to build up enough that the room was warm and comfortable. Then She positioned herself so that the water was against her back, grabbed my arms and kissed me deeply, and then pushed me firmly down with a hand on the top of my head, until I was on my knees, with my face level with Her neatly trimmed pussy.

"She spread her legs slightly, and guided my mouth to Her crotch. Out of reflex, I extended my tongue and started to lick, but She stopped me with a tap on the back of my head. I waited while She concentrated, and after a minute or so, started to feel a hot, wet trickle start to hit the tip of my tongue. I had to bend my neck uncomfortably to get my mouth to the right place, but I stretched and pressed, and eventually managed to start drinking Her pee for the first time.

"I was prepared for the taste - bitter, even acrid, a little salty - but wasn't prepared for the way the aftertaste and more subtle scents fill your mouth and nose. Purely as a drink, you could perhaps treat this like cough medicine - it tastes bad but you can do it - but urine is not 'just a drink'. The subtle scents of it bring back memories of badly maintained public toilets, of squalid back alleys, and you are on your knees drinking it warm from the woman you love. Who is holding you to Her crotch with a hand pressed on the back of your head, as She pisses directly into your mouth. Realistically, I probably caught about 1/3 of her stream, some lost as I was finding the right angle, some as I struggled to swallow and catch it at the same time.

"It was powerful. It was profound. When She had finished, She cleaned us up under the shower spray for a few seconds, then turned off the water and helped me to my feet. I was too overcome to stand for a little while, and she had to wrap a towel around me and help me across the hall and into bed. Where we cuddled, and slowly recovered ... and where I found, when I entered her, that she was as wet as I was hard...".

Several years later pee play (usually with a tube sol designed) is quite common in our D/s life:

We both enjoy using this but it does have limitations. I'd like to sol to take over now and tell you more about his latest creation:

"One very long term fantasy of mine has been to drink my Mistress' pee. We have done this in practice many times now, but usually through a funnel. While this fulfils many elements of my fantasies and is very arousing, one key element of my long term desires has still been missing: drinking her pee directly from the source.

"We have tried this a few times in the shower, with mixed success. If she stands with her legs slightly apart, and I kneel in front, I can just get my lips to the right place to catch some urine, but most of it escapes. Sometimes I cup my hand below her pussy, catching the stream and directing it into my mouth. More successfully, I sit on the floor of the shower, put my hands behind me to support me, and can get my mouth into the right place to catch most of her stream. It's not very comfortable, though, and it takes some arranging - not something you can do every day.

"My latest woodwork project is a stool designed specifically so that Mistress can pee directly into my mouth, comfortably and with little fuss"

Once sol had finished his woodworking he placed a whole lot of cushions in it so we could get the positioning of his head right:

Like so:

Finally - after I'd drunk a thermos of hot water and had two soft drinks and jumped up and down a bit lol - it was time to try it out :) We covered the cushions with plastic and then placed a towel on top:

Sol then lay down:

We worked out a signally system as he was obviously not going to be able to talk much during this: one tap with his hands on my thighs for "yes" / "go", two taps for "no" / "stop".

We began ... sol wrote later:

"I lie down looking up. Mistress comes towards me, naked from the waist down, and stands with her legs apart, straddling my body. I start to feel aroused as I see her pussy, exposed by her parted legs. She moves closer to get into position, until she is ready to start sitting down, and I am looking directly upwards at her. Just as her exposed vulva fill my field of vision, I catch the scent of her, a scent that is washed away completely by the shower. Her labia cover my nose as she positions herself far enough forwards for my mouth to catch her pee. My entire sensory world is filled with her pussy, and I'm pinned underneath her, barely able to breathe. Using hand signals, she shifts back and forth until my mouth aligns with her urethra, and I shape my lips to form a seal.

"When she starts to pee, my mouth is quickly filled by the warm, sour, slightly salty liquid, and I have to try to swallow without closing my mouth. It's something I've been practicing, but being right there and *having* to do it gives me a submissive rush. I gulp and gulp, struggling but succeeding in keeping up, until a greater need takes over. Eventually I need to breathe, so I signal (two taps with my hands) and she stops for me to take a breath.

"It's intense. My senses are totally filled. It takes concentration and you have to work to keep up. You keep going as long as you can before needing a breath, because you're providing a service, and your own breathing is an inconvenience. And it's taboo, a transgression..."

When I was finished I got up, wiped a few small spots of pee away and looked at sol's enormous erection. "How was that?" I asked. "So much better than my fantasies" he replied. He later wrote of this:

"desire I have had for thirty years or more, being finally played out in the flesh. The sum of all the parts is better than the dream, because in the dream all you really have is your own feelings, how you think you will feel when it happens, not the scent, the taste, the sensations, and the real live person sharing the experience with you."

I was so delighted everything had gone well. I was also incredibly turned on. I moved the stool away, left one cushion for sol's head and then sat on his face. I masturbated him while his tongue and lips pleasured me. I then got him to take over wanking while I pinched his nipples hard and moved my hips slightly so he was rimming me.

He asked for permission to come - in a rather muffled fashion, as I was sitting on his face - and did so quickly:

You should have seen his huge grin after we'd finished. You should have seen mine!

What a wonderful new item to add to our toys, thank you sol :)

Photos:

Ms160

Wiki

Steel Urethral Dilator with Lock

2012-01-12T13:59:00.000+11:00

We visited Steve Sax's leather workshop and store in Byron Bay yesterday and came away with an interesting item to try. Steve had received it as a sample and wanted to know whether the design was functional and the item worth adding to his already enormous stock.

It's a stainless steel urethral dilator with a locking mechanism. Yum. I'm sure you can see why we were interested to give it a go. It's constructed of two pieces:

Here they are together:

We'd only been home minutes before we wanted to try this out lol. We washed the device thoroughly and got out the lube, then sol slipped the ringed piece of the device over his cock and balls:

Lots of lube was placed on the rod going into sol:

And well as down and on sol's urethra. While I'm comfortable inserting sounds into sol this was a new item and sol was upright, so I directed him to push the rod down his urethra himself. Sol enjoys sounding very much so he was looking forward to trying this:

He used the rod to push lube further down his urethra and then reinserted it:

Finally it was all in:

I then locked the device with one of Sax's locks, that we use on sol's chastity devices:

The whole thing looked amazing:

And very hot!

Sol found it a real turn on, too. He was able to stand up and walk around, as long as he was careful.

To see how it worked with erections I had sol go down on me for a while, as this always gets him hard. He WAS able to get erect.

It was 4.45pm. I said "let's leave it in until 6pm and I'll check on you every half an hour. Let me know too if you need a pee and we can test that, too". He went out to finish a kinky woodwork project and I checked on him out there at 5.30pm:

He said:

"you are aware of it all the time and I'm getting very horny. It keeps moving around when you walk, so essentially it's sliding in and out as your cock grows and shrinks"

We wondered whether this meant it wouldn't work under clothing. Then again clothing might it hold it in place. Something we can test next time.

I found the device especially erotic from behind, the way the metal pieces and the lock swung down between his legs:

It reminded me of Story of O.

Just before 6pm he needed a pee so I had him fetch a bucket. Because the device is solid we were not sure he'd be able to go. But all went well:

Sol said:

"It was a bit difficult as obviously you are peeing around a steel rod but it was fine"

He cleaned up:

And then I took the lock off:

And I removed the rod as sol took photos. Gently:

Gently:

Until finally it was out. Here I am showing that all is well with sol's urethra:

Sol had a little bit of burning with his next pee but nothing more than he usually experiences after sounds play.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

We had a lot of fun with this device, and plan to have lots more. Thank you again to Steve Sax for suggesting we try this sample. We'll certainly recommend stocking it.

We see it as a short term play device rather than a long term one (like a classic chastity device) that can be used in general play. For example, I was thinking of having him wear it next time he's wearing a butt plug. The double sensation was be pretty intense.

The only problem was that the rings were a bit big for sol and slipped down a bit when he was not erect or just walking around. We've seen examples of this for sale where there are two ring sizes (44.4mm ( 1 3/4" ) and 50.8mm ( 2" )) so we'll suggest to Steve that he stock both.

The urethral plug was small enough for sol to pee out of it, which means it was a perfect fit. The maximum diameter of the urethra plug 8mm(0.315"), effective length of about 9cm(3.54").

Because of the ring size and the length of the device sol was able to get a (slightly bent) erection but as we don't plan to use the device as a chastity device, that's not a problem.

As with sounding, lube (and re-lubing) is VERY important. Remember, lube shooters are useful for things other than anal play *grin*

What sol especially liked:

the feeling of the urethral dilation. As always in terms of describing sounding sensations he found the actual sensation impossible to articulate.

sol now wants to try a Princes wand: "it make you think a prince's wand would be worth playing with because as you shrink it goes further into you, not the other way around like this"

What I especially liked:

It changes the dynamic of sounding. It's like sounding "on the go", so to speak. Usually with sounding sol is flat on a massage bed with me inserting the sounds as he lies still. You absolutely must not move with sounds. With this device I can insert the device and lock him in, then send him out to do household chores. Very carefully of course.

The look and sound of the device. As I wrote above they remind me of O's metal rings between her legs, in Story of O ("The irons attached to the left lobe of her belly cleft, proclaiming in bold letters that she was Sir Stephen's personal property, came about a third of the way down her thigh and, at every step, swung back and forth between her legs like the clapper of a bell, the inscribed disk being heavier and longer than the ring to which it was attached")

How turned on the device makes us both :)

WANT ONE?

S(A)X doesn't have this device listed yet but if Steve decides to stock it I'll add a link here :) (you might like to check out his other cock and ball toys and chastity devices)

You'll find similar devices at various fetish stores. Google "urethral dilator with lock" or even just "penis plugs", there are so many amazing designs. In selecting one you need to think through what you want to do with such a device. Do you want one so tight you can't pee or come through it? Or one that's hollow? What about erections? If you are looking for an open chastity device with a major urethral component have a look at Male Chastity Now's Cock Trap:

"the Cock Trap seizes the penis while soft, and locks on to prevent erection, intercourse or masturbation.... Just slide his testicles and penis through the solid steel ring, then insert the hollow urethral wand into his flaccid penis using a personal lubricant. Finally, lock it all together with the included padlock. The compact design keeps the penis naturally pointed downward, so bulging and noticeability is virtually non-existent. The urethral wand is rounded for easy insertion, and allows him to urinate while remaining confined. This innovative, open design makes the device much more hygienic to use than devices which completely enclose the penis. The CockTrap uses a hollow tube, allowing urine to flow through the tube when the wearer uses the bathroom. The standard outer tube diameter is 5/16," though custom made devices with larger diameter tubing are available for the daring or advanced user"

Photos:

Ms160

solipsist

Xmas Sphinx fuck

2012-01-09T10:21:00.008+11:00

On our Love Our Lurkers Day post last year Chirenon left a comment that included:

"I love [sol's] sphinx and I would like to see more things done to him while he's in it, especially dildo fucking"

To which I replied:

"Glad you like The Sphinx. Sol agrees with you that using it for getting fucked would be excellent, so we'll try and get that happening and some photos taken, over Xmas"

Hope Chirenon enjoys the following photos *grin*.

Readers unfamiliar with The Sphinx might like to take a quick look at this post, which in turn quotes this description of the device an earlier post:

"It's a rather useful frame consisting of several nicely sanded pieces of wood and half a dozen leather dog collars. The entire frame can be taken apart, stored or transported and very quickly and easily re-assembled.

"The collars attach to the sub's neck, wrists, ankles - and lastly, a very fiendish one around the cock and balls.... The result is a neatly imobilized sub. Its not nearly as comfortable as it looks (joke)...

"The frame's positioning of the sub presents all sorts of interesting posibilities, including a well positioned back (for all sorts of impact toys) and a lovely raised ass with cheeks apart. Great for ...well, everything really ..."

For today's scene we had placed The Sphinx on a thick carpet on the ground. You can see from the photo below how nicely The Sphinx presents sol:

How could I resist?!:

I'd selected several dildos earlier and directed sol to put condoms on them:

For new players reading this who want an idea how to set up a scene like this, I had the following items close to hand:

packet of latex gloves (with talc) (even though sol and I are fluid bonded I find wearing gloves during pegging or dildo fucking means I can clean up quickly. I can also remove them and then take photos, then put on a new pair. The talc means they are easier for me to put on)
extra condoms
box of tissues
two containers of lube
anatomically shaped butt plug (the discoloring you can see in the photo above is the actual rubber, it's quite clean lol)
small gold vibrator with new battery
black rubber anal probe
three black dildos of increasing size (these came from Black Rabbit, I first posted about them here. They've been brilliant for anal play, lovely and smooth and the sizes are great)
plastic rubbish bag (just chuck everything in as you go along and there is no mess at the end)
razor (to remove any stray hairs around sol's ass)
trick towel / facecloth (for any mess that needs a quick wipe and to clean sol up after he came)
black rubber InHerTube's shoe harness (you can see me wearing it on a boot here but I also find it goes on my hand really well)
camping head torch with new batteries (I wear this on my forehead and it frees up my hands while directing bright light onto the anus - this means you can watch out for any tiny fissures or blood etc)
clock
camera

Anal play takes a bit of preparation. Before we played sol did several enemas with rests in between. I then had him wear the anatomically shaped butt plug for half an hour or so. This both stretched him and when removed, confirmed that he was clean enough to proceed. By the time he's done all this he's in a perfect mindset for anal play.

The Sphinx is extremely uncomfortable so it's important to keep an eye on the time length of the scene, and also to make sure sol is aware I want to know the moment he needs to come out of it as it takes a few minutes to undo everything.

I planned for about 15 minutes ... but I was also not sure whether anal play would be possible ... The Sphinx causes muscles to cramp quickly and sol was going to have to really concentrate on opening himself to me.

I began with lots of lube:

I love watching the lube drip down his ass, knowing I'm about to fuck him, it's such a turn on:

I then worked my lubed fingers and thumbs into him:

And spent a minute or so massaging and entering his ass hole with a small lubed vibrator:

At this point sol said his shoulders were taking too much strain so I quickly undid his neck and wrist restraints. With the neck pole of The Sphinx removed he could remain in position with his head on the floor:

So I got back to work. Time to insert the anal probe ... here I am lubing it up:

This works very nicely as a warm up tool and also massages the prostate:

I fucked sol for about ten minutes with the anal probe. I undid the leather strap around his balls so I could masturbate him at the same time. This was so much fun. He was making lovely noises...

I then moved to the smallest of the three black dildos, which I placed in the InHerTube's shoe harness. Worn over my hand it made a great harness:

This is one of my favorite strap on harnesses. It's so versatile. I also like it because it's easy to remove the dildo from the harness during play ... which I've done in the photo below to show how nicely sol is plugged:

Sol now mentioned he was experiencing a burning sensation. I removed the dildo while we checked everything out. The bright light from my head torch showed his asshole was nicely lubed and open and he confirmed it wasn't the actual penetration that was worrying him. We both thought it might be the close fit condom on the black dildo. He'd had no trouble with burning from the anal probe's condom but the black dildo's condom was flavored and I've had trouble using flavored condoms myself.

After a short break I began to insert the second dildo, which had the same condom as the anal probe:

But sol really was too sore to continue... Bugger. So to speak. We'd both been looking forward to that final, enormous black dildo!:

I took sol off The Sphinx:

And then joined him in bed. We had hopes of continuing when his ass became less sore. While we waited I instructed sol to go down on me and then after I came, rim me. It didn't take much on my part to make him come shortly after this:

What an impressive amount of come for someone who came quite a lot last weekend! It shot all the way up to his neck and down to the pillow.

Totally exhausted from our orgasms we showered in our outdoor bathroom (remember it's summer here in Oz):

And collapsed back into bed...

Next morning we were greeted by the sight of that poor sad unused huge black dildo still sitting there, so we decided we'd finish the scene next weekend :)

Photos:
Ms160

Sol's Xmas orgasms

2012-01-04T10:51:00.016+11:00

I decided to give sol the perfect Xmas gift: so many orgasms that he would plead to go back into chastity LOL.

It was obviously time for another round of our Coming Game. This is what I posted last time:

"We play with chastity and orgasm control / denial a lot, and we have a lot of fun with it, but last Saturday I decided to reverse our chastity game, something that's long been a fantasy of sol's.

"Sol and I spent some time discussing possible edging and coming games and then I laid down the rules for today's game:
We would hold five sessions.
One every hour, over a five hour period.
He would come at the end of each session.
Each session would consist of ten minutes, eight minutes stroking and two minutes to come.
He must not take his hands off his cock or stop masturbating without Mistress' permission while the clock was running.
He would aim to come as close to the final time as possible.
He must still (as per our D/s rules) ask Mistress for permission to come ... I had the option to say no and call the whole game anytime *grin*
If he came, Mistress was pleased. His reward? My pleasure and the fact he got to come, of course, what else?
If he wasn't able to come, Mistress Would Be Displeased And There Would Be A Punishment.
The punishment for each session he didn't come would be a week in the chastity device.
"From talking to sol he was pretty sure he'd be able to come the first three times but he wasn't sure about the last two. That meant the proposed punishment was scary but do-able. At the worst he'd have two weeks in the device, possibly three."

You can read how that scene turned out here. Basicially he came three out of five times. This time - being Xmas and all - I decided we'd have SIX sessions.

Some other points we now take into consideration:

Mistress chooses position of slave. Some possible positions while masturbating: on knees in front of Mistress; obeisance (on knees, head down); bent over; lying on bed; standing up

Positions may be made more difficult, for example predicament bondage type positions where balance is slightly compromised

Mistress may help or hinder at her desire (for example I might play with sol's nipples or add something like a ball stretcher to help him achieve orgasm)

Slave may request lube for later attempts

We set his phone alarm not only for the game but to remind us five minutes before the next game was due.

For the first session I had sol sit at my feet:

The Xmas Present was fascinated by the noises sol's phone alarm made, but she soon wandered off to dream of tennis balls.

We began at exactly 12.30am. I take notes during each session. I like doing this. It makes me feel very school mistress-ish ... although I'm not quite sure a school mistress would ever be quite as gleeful....

At the four minute mark sol was producing pre come. At 5.16 he was almost at the edge of orgasm and had to slow right down. He came exactly at ten minutes:

It had been over three weeks since he came so his come was thick and copious. I kindly allowed him to lick it up:

55 minutes later the warning alarm went off while we were shopping in a local village. I think sol was hoping I'd grant a time extension. But oh no, time for a little humiliation play, although hopefully not in public.

Sol and I returned to the car, which was in an outdoor parking area. We were parked one space from the end (that car space was empty) and as you can see from the photo below of the windscreen, it was raining:

Which created even more privacy. I got out my note pad and told sol to proceed as the time reached 1.30pm. As you can see he was nervous and it was rather hard to get an erection:

Although there was no one nearby, I threw his jumper over his crotch to give him more privacy. This helped and he was doing really well and I'd just uncovered him for a photo when ... at the 7.18 minute mark a car pulled up into the empty space next door LOL:

Immediately I threw his jumper over him and I called a halt to the game until the driver of the car had left the car park:

Sol bravely resumed, with me laughing in the passenger seat. He came at 9.04 minutes:

Well done, sol. That was a tough one :)

The next alarm went off when we were driving home. This time I did postpone the game. We would have had to park on the side of the road, and in the community we live it's likely neighbors would have stopped to make sure we were okay:

Neighbors: "you guys alright? Do you need a lift home?"
Me: "no no we're fine, sol's just a little busy with his Christmas orgasm"

Nah. Probably best to avoid....

The next game commenced at 3.30pm. We were a bit tired after all the racing around so this time I told sol to stay in bed, lying down. His balls were looking rather empty by now. He came at 9.47 minutes. I demanded he produce at least three spots of come. He did ... just:

Session 4 began at 4.30pm, in bed again. Wanking and coming was definitely becoming (if you'll forgive the pun) harder. His hands moved fiercely, his whole body shook with effort, his toes curled, I even helped twisting his nipples:

He came at the 9.26 mark, only a tiny dribble:

After a beer to recover Session 5 began at 5.30pm, in bed. This time sol requested lube:

It was a valiant effort. This was taken at 8.35:

Look at that depleted ball sack, above. Look at that visibly swollen foreskin, below:

But sadly when the ten minute alarm went off, he'd not come. Yay! As I wrote last time, "Mistress wins". Finally.

I checked out his bits. He had a sore dick and very swollen foreskin:

He was very very grateful when I canceled the final, sixth session! But what a champ. Four comes in five sessions over six hours. I'm impressed *grin*. I'll write about his "penalty" / punishment in another post....

A few days later he's still sore! Merry Xmas and Happy New Year, sol :)

Photos:
Ms160

Sol's latest custom design...

2011-12-30T10:39:00.004+11:00

This Xmas holiday sol has been designing and making a new item of kinky furniture. Here's a puzzle for readers: what's it for?

A clue: It's not a queening stool but could be used as one.

Photos showing it's final form and function next week :)

Happy Xmas from Ms160 and sol

2011-12-20T08:33:00.003+11:00

We'd like to wish all our readers a Happy Xmas .... as we wrote to our real time friends: may your New Year bring you all the kinkiness you desire :)

Ms160 and solipsist

We decided we wanted to create a new Xmas Greetings photo that would reflect some of the fun we've had in 2011. CBT chemical play using fresh spices and chili was something we first explored this year and from the popularity of our play posts, as well as the requests we get from friends, we think you enjoy this form of play too...

The photo above was taken with a chili grown in our own garden:

Their red and green coloring went with our Xmas theme. The chili we chose was brushed clean and then placed in position in sol's lubed urethra with great care:

Like so:

Small but deadly! Actually it doesn't do much to sol unless the chili is cut open so I'll slice a section off and reinsert it later tonight *grin*

Hope you enjoyed the final photo, at the top of this post :)

Photos:
Ms160

Puppy Brazilian

2011-12-19T11:50:00.005+11:00

A male dominant dog loving friend who only checks out our blog for photos of the Xmas Present (CBT photos make him shudder) dropped me a line last week to remind us that we hadn't posted a birthday photo of the XP this year (she was born in Oct and came home with us two days before Xmas, thus the name we use on the blog).

So .... above you can see the XP in all her glory, three years and one month old, beloved sun faded tennis ball firmly between front paws. She was very clear that she didn't want a photo of her actually chasing the ball because that would reveal that the lovely long hair on her tail and back legs and around her privates has just been clipped:

This was done because it's tick season and that lovely long hair was their favorite place to climb aboard. We nearly lost her to a paralysis tick once before, so we are taking no chances this year. We'd like her to achieve lots more birthdays.

This definitely was NOT the XP's idea of a good birthday / xmas present. We reassured her that her hair would regrow and that having a full brazilian was VERY fashionable, but the Xmas Present felt her dignity was in tatters - to say nothing of the cold draft around her nether regions - and it was rather tricky to walk around with her that first day because she kept sitting down every second step.

Poor XP! Well, we think our birthday girl still looks beautiful:

Photos:
Ms160

Another one for cassie

2011-12-18T14:03:00.006+11:00

A while back I posted "100 lashes ... but not with a flogger" which began:

"cassie from "...with a sense of pride" put up a great post recently showing how subtle BDSM awareness can be. I thought of her post when sol came home a few days ago with a six pack of a newly launched beer called One Fifty Lashes, lol."

cassie responded:

"...ooooooooh, i love this one! Wow! Let's keep O/our eyes open for more! Thank you Ma'am."

I thought of cassie when I visited Masters, a new home improvement store in Brisbane yesterday. A male dominant friend has been promising me a visit for ages. We had lots of fun. He very kindly introduced me to "nice and creamy" ice cream sundaes while we were there:

And also gifted me his Masters shopping bag, which is now displayed at home where I grin whenever I see it.

Ah the joys of viewing the world with a kinky perspective!

Thank you:
SirT

Photos:
Ms160

Reaching out, 21st century style

2011-12-09T12:52:00.005+11:00

I'm writing this sitting on our deck, watching the wind in our Balinese prayer flags and drinking my "special tea" (a gift from one of my favorite tea party servers). The Xmas Present twitches and chases tennis balls in her dreams, at my feet. Storm clouds are parting to reveal a blue sky. Mist rings the mountains. The wind chimes echo down the valley.

I seem to have written several posts recently about kinky friends having a tough time. Those who live in Oz I can visit or at least invite here ... to enjoy some peace and quiet on this deck, to drink tea and relax for a day or so from the concerns of their everyday lives.

But these last few days I've really found myself fretting on behalf of some beloved friends overseas. Suddenly distance seems as great a challenge as during my parents' generation.

We take for granted instant communication in the 21st century. Our words cross the planet before we finish the thought that formed them. We send each other images of our lives in seconds, the way I've captured the wind that still sings and dances through the wind chimes here.

But what about human touch? That's something we never share with cyber friends. It's impossible to wipe a tear from a cheek, to warm a cold hand within your own, to wrap your arms around them. I'm looking at the cold reality of cyber touch right now - two smudged finger tip marks on my laptop screen, made the last time I visited a blog where the most recent post literally made me reach out a hand to offer comfort ... until my fingers hit my screen.

Sol will come home soon. Kinky plans for weekend play have been made, and later we'll sleep curled up together, warmed by firelight. I'll write about what we get up to soon. As for this post?

From my quiet deck I'm reaching out, 21st century style. This post is for everyone out there needing a hug. As real as I can make it.

Photo:
Ms160

CBT at Roissy - part 2

2011-12-04T11:11:00.000+11:00

A few weekends back we attended a private Roissy event. You can read a background post about these events here. As I wrote in part 1 of this post:

"It was an amazing weekend. The deal with these events is: what goes on at Roissy stays at Roissy, so as much as I'd love to blog all about it and share some of the stunning photos, I'm afraid all I can show you are some of our moments of private play, as these photos don't include anyone else"

Our private play included two CBT scenes which were documented by Roissy valet and talented photographer Vade. You'll find his photos of our first CBT scene at Roissy here.

Our second CBT scene occurred outside at night. Keep in mind some of these photos are taken with flash, and others are darker because Vade was exploring natural lighting. In terms of visualizing the scene the play space was beautifully lit by candle light.

Over the weekend several scenes from Story of O were recreated, including this one:

"Anne-Marie handed O four tokens and asked her to give one to each of the girls without looking at the numbers on them. O handed out the tokens,the three girls each looked at theirs but said nothing, waiting for Anne-Marie to speak.

"I have number two," Anne-Marie said. "Who has number one?" Colette had number one. "All right, take O away, she's all yours." Colette seized O's arms and joined her hands behind her back; she fastened the bracelets together and pushed O ahead of her...

"The light entering through the French door revealed a room the far end of which formed a kind of raised rotunda; the ceiling, in the shape of a shallow cupola, was supported by two narrow columns set about six feet apart. This dais was about four steps high and, in the area between the columns, projected further into the room in a gentle arc...

"Colette had O sit down on the edge of the platform ... Anne-Marie, who was laughing said: " no one can hear you scream. And the walls are lined with cork. Don't worry, no one can hear the slightest thing that goes on inhere. Now lie down." She took her by both shoulders and laid her back, then pulled her slightly forward. O's hands were clutching the edge of the platform - Yvonne having attached them to a ring set in the platform - and her buttocks were thus suspended in mid-air.

"Anne-Marie made her raise her legs toward her chest, then O suddenly felt her legs, still doubled-up above her, being pulled taut in the same direction: straps had been fastened to her ankle bracelets and thence to the columns on either side, while she lay thus between them on this raised dais exposed in such a way that the only part of her which was visible was the double cleft of her womb and her buttocks violently quartered. Anne-Marie caressed the inside of her thighs. "It's the most tender spot of the whole body," she said, "be careful not to harm it. Not too hard now, Colette."

"Colette was standing over her, astride her at the level of her waist,and in the bridge formed by her dark legs, O could see the tassels of the whip she was holding in her hand. As the first blows burned into her loins,O moaned. Colette alternated from left to right, paused, then started again.O struggled with all her might, she thought the straps would tear her limb from limb. She did not want to grovel, she did not want to beg for mercy. And yet, that was precisely what Anne-Marie intended wringing from her lips. "Faster," she said to Colette, "and harder." O braced herself, but it was no use. A minute later she could bear it no more, she screamed and burst into tears, while Anne-Marie caressed her face. "Just a second longer," she said, "and it will be over. Only five more minutes. She can scream for five minutes. It's twenty-five past, Colette. Stop when it's half past, when I tell you to."

But O was screaming: "No, no, for God's sake don't!" screaming that she couldn't bear it,no, she couldn't bear the torture another second. And yet she endured it to the bitter end, and after Colette had left the little stage, Anne-Marie smiled at her. "Thank me," she said to O, and O thanked her"

This always turned me on when I read the book so it was great to have the chance to take part in a scene where it was recreated.

Sol drew the fourth token and so was the last Roissy slave of the evening to be restrained and strung up in position by the Valets. As part of the role play other Masters had used whips on their slaves and I planned to use a mix of crops and canes:

You can see me reaching for my red riding crop, which I did use a little:

However sol had been whipped with a rubber flogger earlier in the day and had some fierce marks on his backside, including quite a long cut along his perineum, which you can see in some of the photos taken with a flash. I needed to avoid these as they needed time to heal.

Hmmm. Decisions, decisions, what to do? His cock and balls were so nicely presented in his leather ball stretcher while strung up in this way, so I decided to concentrate on his genitals:

I began with a favorite CBT implement we purchased from Black Rabbit Leather. I can't remember what it's called but basically it's a short crop with wooden handle, with a round flat leather tip that's just fiendish when you use it on balls or the cock head:

I then moved on to a small rattan cane:

It's also quite severe on the balls:

Here you can see it in motion:

Next was a wrapped leather cane (of the type used at the original Roissy):

I also used our rawhide cane, which was fun to flick over sol's balls:

I then gave sol a break by doing something nice with my finger tips:

Needing more light I turned on my torch headlight. I removed sol's ball stretcher and continued for a while using the rawhide cane over his shaft. Vade has captured how fast it moves in the photo below:

I did a few more nasty things before finishing up...

With a small leather whip:

At the end of the scene the Valet helped me wrap sol up in our black fur. We left him to drift for a while:

While I discussed the scene with some other Masters:

As I wrote in part 1 of this post:

"It was an extraordinary couple of days, and we enjoyed very much bringing some (female dominant inspired) CBT to (male dominant oriented) Roissy!

"I can't say much more but I would like to take this opportunity to thank the organizers of the event, as well as Roissy house staff (especial thanks to Vade for these photos), the other Masters, and the graceful and beautiful slaves who were a joy to behold and play with :)"

Many thanks:

ST + v

B + V + x

Photos:

Vade

CBT at Roissy - part 1

2011-12-02T10:50:00.003+11:00

A few weekends back we attended a private Roissy event. We've been invited to a couple of these now. You can read my first post here.

It was an amazing weekend. The deal with these events is: what goes on at Roissy stays at Roissy, so as much as I'd love to blog all about it and share some of the stunning photos, I'm afraid all I can show you are some of our moments of private play, as these photos don't include anyone else.

Our private play included two CBT scenes. The first scene occurred outdoors mid afternoon and these wonderful images were captured by Roissy valet Vade, who is an extremely talented photographer.

With play happening all around us, sol had been attached to a pole by another Roissy Master. I decided to take advantage of the genitals that were on offer:

Sol's chastity device was locked with a Roissy key over the weekend, but I had taken sol out of the device for afternoon's play. First I attached Japanese clover clamps to his nipples (you can see the clover clamps clamped to my jacket in the photo below, just waiting to be used lol):

I then attached fishing and diving weights to sol's ball stretcher:

I included several different types of metal weights. The end result looked like this:

You can do all sorts of things with these. You can swing them back and forth. Or when the weight gets too intense you can pick them all up in your hand, and give your sub a break from the weight ... before you let them go again!:

I removed the clover clamps and then applied my "magic wand" gold and black cane to his balls and cock head:

Sharp fast flicks with a rattan cane certainly got his attention:

I then moved on to our rawhide cane:

It's a fiendish device to flick fast on a cock head ... and a cock shaft .... and balls:

To wind down I returned to gently swinging the weights:

Before removing the weights one by one.... lots of fun *evil grin*.

I'll post about our second CBT scene at Roissy soon.

It was an extraordinary couple of days, and we enjoyed very much bringing some (female dominant inspired) CBT to (male dominant oriented) Roissy!

I can't say much more but I would like to take this opportunity to thank the organizers of the event, as well as Roissy house staff (an especial thank you to Vade for these photos), the other Masters, and the graceful and beautiful slaves who were a constant joy to behold and play with :)

Many thanks:
ST + v
B + V + x

Photos:
Vade

Dental dams in kinky play

2011-11-28T10:11:00.008+11:00

At Kinkfest in Melbourne sol and I were given some ACON safe sex packs. We were delighted to see these contained a dental dam, something we'd wanted to try since reading Curvaceous Dee's definitive post on dental dams a few months ago.

We highly recommend reading Dee's post ... plus this will give you a chance to view the magical photos of Dee testing the strength of her dental dam!

So, what's a dental dam?

Dental dams (also called oral dams) are a thin square or rectangular sterile latex (or non latex) device used by oral surgeons to create a sterile field in the mouth. They are also used to protect against transmission of bacteria and viruses during rimming and cunnilingus. Here's Wiki:

"In regard to safe sex practices, dental dams are most commonly recognized for their use during cunnilingus and anilingus to protect against the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases."

Dee enlarges on this:

"Think herpes, gonorrhoea, HPV, HIV, syphilis, and any other STI you can imagine"

As Scarleteen advises:

"If we're going to have sex with other people, the most important and effective prevention of STIs are barriers (latex or polyurethane condoms, dental dams or gloves) used correctly and consistently for all and any vaginal, anal and/or oral sex, with any or all of your partners"

Terri Wilder raises an interesting question when she asks:

"despite the fact that health educators tell people to use dental dams ...or to cut a condom open to use as a barrier when performing oral sex on a woman, I wonder how many people actually use these products..."

There have actually been a few researchers in Australia working on this very question. ACON's website's page on dental dams now states:

"Australian based researchers Peta Cox and Ruth McNair have conducted studies exploring the use of dental dams in the lesbian and same sex attracted women's community.

"This research conclusively found that women in our communities did not enjoy using dental dams and that dental dams were not effective in preventing the transmission of sexually transmissible infections (STIs). The only scenario in which a dental dam has been found to be effective in preventing or reducing the transmission of an STI is in the case of herpes when there is an outbreak present.

"These findings are reiterated in the paper "The practical and symbolic purpose of dental dams in lesbian safer sex promotion" by Juliet Richters and Stevie Clayton. The Clayton and Richters paper is based on Sydney and NSW research into lesbians and same sex attracted women and their use of dental dams. It also provides some history into the adoption of dental dams by the lesbian community as an initial response to HIV. Now it is known that sex between women is very low risk in terms of HIV transmission.

"In generalist health services and sexual health clinics dental dams are not recommended to heterosexual couples for use when performing oral sex on a woman. Dental dams are used successfully in sex worker communities predominantly in anal based oral sex to prevent the spread of hepatitis"

Juliet Richters and Stevie Clayton also published in Sexual Health. Here's their abstract:

"Dental dams are distributed and promoted in some safer sex campaigns for use in oral sex. However, whether and how often dams are used for sex between Australian women remains unknown.

"We investigated the use of dental dams for sex by lesbians and other women who have sex with women, and the relationship between dam use and sexual risk for this group. In 2004, a self-completion questionnaire was distributed to women attending the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Fair Day and lesbian community venues and health services in Sydney (n = 543). Among the 330 women who had had oral sex with a woman in the previous 6 months, 9.7% had used a dental dam and 2.1% had used one 'often'. There was little evidence of dam use for prevention of sexually transmissible infections"

Another interesting quote from first Clayton and Richters paper:

"dental dams are not manufactured, registered or tested for STI prevention purposes. No studies exist on their permeability to STI pathogens, although it is likely that they are at least as impermeable as condoms, which are also made of latex but thinner."

At least:

"The mechanical effectiveness of condoms and other barrier devices is not in doubt. Latex and polyurethane in the thickness used for condoms and other barrier devices do not permit transmission of any pathogen"

And yet:

"The use of condoms for fellatio is controversial. Consistent use would prevent both partners from virtually all STDs transmitted by oral sex, but the risk is low without condoms and many sexually active persons find them distasteful, literally and functionally. There is similar antipathy to dental dams for cunnilingus or analingus, and most health experts recommend routine use of barriers for oral sex half-heartedly if at all."

Strange, isn't it? Obviously there are major pros and cons with dental dams, but as one safe sex site concludes:

"The use of a dam is up to you. Oral sex is considered to be less dangerous a practice than intercourse, and fellatio is often less dangerous than oral-anal sex. The level of protection you decide to use is your choice, but the safest sex dictates you use a dental dam at all times"

As Dee points out:

"being safe means making compromises. I feel dental dams are ideal if you’re going to play with someone whom you don’t know well, or who hasn’t been tested (or if you haven’t been tested, for that matter!). Sharing disease as well as orgasms is just not worth it."

If this is of interest you may want to track down the links in see References and Online Resources list at the bottom of this post. Meanwhile, back to sol's and my experience....

Sol and I can at least avoid the barriers / protection debate because we are fluid bonded. We don't have to use dental dams or other barriers during sex. However we thought dental dams might have D/s play potential - this "test run" was to both see how we found them from a sensitivity point of view as well as explore some other kinky possibilities.

Initially I had a problem separating dental dams from their other use. I encountered a mint flavored bright green dental dam last time I had root canal surgery at the dentist and it was so revolting it nearly put me off using dental dams for sex, for life.

OK OK I admit it, it was the dental surgery rather than the dental dam that put me off. But I did find the mint scented green latex a bit much. Luckily the dental dam in our safe sex pack was vanilla "flavored" and cream colored, so it wouldn't bring back any awful root canal memories. You can also buy flavors / scents like grape, banana and strawberry. Dee has even found cola and blueberry ones.

The dental dam in our safe sex pack came from Thailand so it had instructions in both languages:

It's easy to use. Here's Wiki again:

"After lubrication with water-based lubricant an unpunctured dental dam may be held over the vulva or anus, allowing oral stimulation of these areas without transmission of bodily fluids and skin contact."

Dee puts a bit more fun into that description (because as she points out, "it is a whole lot of fun to use a dental dam!"):

"There are a few important things to remember for extra comfort:
A little lube on the non-mouth side makes things a lot more fun for the receiver!
Marking the external side (with a wee black dot from a marker on one edge) will prevent confusion about which way up it goes if (say) a strong wind catches it.
Someone needs to hold the dental dam in place.With that last one you can have a bit of fun. Want to torment the receiver? Make them hold the edges against their thighs and try not to wriggle. Want control? Hold it yourself. In an orgy? Ask someone else to hold it! It is important, and it’s something it’s easy to miss. But once you’ve done it wrong you’ll never forget again! Why? Because if no one holds it … it gets inhaled. And choking plus laughter kills the moment quite impressively."

*grin* You can even buy a product to help you keep it in place! We knew Dee was 200% right about the lube so we fetched it:

Remember, you don't want to use oil based lubes like Vaseline, mineral / vegetable oils as they can cause the breakdown of the latex in the dental dam.

Sol unpacked the dental dam:

He's holding it up to the light to double check it's free of holes or perforations. You can also run it under a tap to see if any water comes through. I took a sniff ... vanilla was certainly better than the mint one at the dentist! Sol then lubed my private bits:

And placed the dental dam in position:

You only use a dental dam once and you only use one side, so sol made sure this was in place to give me maximum fun. We agree with Dee about the need for having the dental dam held firmly, but for this short test run sol was able to hold it in place.

Sorry those photos are shaky ... without looking I was literally waving the camera in the right direction and just clicking. And once sol set to work I have to admit my mind was on other things than the camera:

Obviously there are differences between having a barrier and not having a barrier (ask anyone giving a blowjob to a condom covered cock). Sol usually enjoys seeing what he's doing and you can't really do that with dental dams in place. As Dee notes:

"Some are more transparent than others – and pressing them against the skin gives you a pretty good idea of contours. But mostly it’s a matter of finding your way by feel (and reaction)."

And that's really what it's all about ... taking the time to explore the new medium and work out how you can work with it. The dental dam is thin and strong and stretchy so you can work it into the contours and folds of the genital area. Alex Robboy wrote:

"To increase the sensation, the licker could try to create air bubbles while sucking and snapping them back. To increase the taste for the licker, put some Nutella on the dental dam. From what I hear Nutella is supposed to spread well on anything, morning noon or night, and it tastes like chocolate. What more could a person ask for?"

Sounds fun.

And it's not that bad, in regard to loss of sensitivity. My first response was probably the same as many men trying their first condom ... if I was honest it didn't feel as bad as I'd imagined. As one safe sex site observed:

"The feeling of a dental dam is different than the feeling of a tongue but it does not necessarily make it a bad thing"

Exactly. And it is sure a fun way to keep safe. I was definitely enjoying myself, lying back and letting the lube increase my sensitivity....

The only problem was we had a time limit and it was obvious that using dental dams was going to result in a much slower, more leisurely orgasm. So sadly we removed the dam. A few minutes later I came .... and a few minutes after that I allowed sol to come. Definitely a good start to a week, a double orgasm.

Later we discussed our "test run" in terms of kinky possibilities:

think of your dental dam as Dee does: as an extra toy in your kinky toybag ... and then start thinking of it's play possibilities. Dee writes of "snapping my partner’s thigh before using them. Squirting cold lube on hot bits and squishing it around with the latex. Finding erogenous zones with my tongue and nose and chin by feel" ... mmmm...
dental dams are not a bad way to start exploring a latex / rubber fetish with your partner. Latex / rubber garments and toys are expensive and hard to store. On the other hand a small strong and very stretchy rectangle of latex can be incorporated into sex and kinky play in lots of different ways. One thing: you'll get the right texture sensations from the dental dam but you will need to track down non flavored / unscented dams to get the proper latex smell.

after you've had a few "test runs" you can work out whether dental dams limit your personal sensation play or not. If you usually come quickly during oral sex, dental dams are a great way of slowing your orgasm down and making sex last longer.

for the person performing oral sex dental dams limit view, touch (via the tongue) and taste. In terms of kinky play this means you can utilize dental dams as a form of service. I can lie back and enjoy a leisurely scene with lots of oral attention while sol is denied some of the pleasure he usually experiences when allowed to go down on me without a latex barrier. The lovely kinky paradox of this is that he then experiences pleasure at being subjected to this form of denial.

Yep, Curvaceous Dee is definitely right ... using a dental dam is "a whole lot of fun"!

WANT ONE?

They can be hard to track down real time (more chemists should stock them) but you'll find plenty online. Non latex ones can be hard to source ... thankfully Dee's research turned up Hot Dam.

If you can't find a dental dam there are ways to make a barrier:

Using a condom (also here) (remember: "use unlubricated condoms and make sure they don’t have spermicide (it tastes bad and can actually increase your risk of HIV because it irritates")

Using a latex glove (also here)

Dee did some extra homework on making her own barriers out of condoms. Her final thoughts:

"I have just performed two experiments ... using Durex latex condoms: ripping one condom into a dental dam with teeth; and cutting another condom into a dental dam with scissors. And then attacking them with some stretching and tearing. (For both I turned condom into dam as per the video linked above – removing the tip, removing the ring at the other end, splitting down the middle.)It was reasonably easy to do both ways, although I actually found it simpler with teeth. It does make an acceptable dam in a pinch, but I feel it’s not ideal.

"Condom advantages: can see better what’s on the other side; easier to source condoms.

"Condom disadvantages: makes a narrower dam; tastes much worse; slightly weaker material.It did take serious teeth grabbing to rip it in the middle (as it does with original dams), but the edges are considerably easier to rip. Holding the makeshift dam in from the edges means it’s still quite strong. It’s nearly as stretchy as the original dam, too."

Another option is using clear wraps like Glad wrap / Saran wrap. You can do this BUT you need to make sure you only use non microwaveable clear wraps. This is important. Here's Dee:

"Most clear wraps these days are designed to be microwaveable – and this means that the pores in the wrap are large enough to allow bacteria and viruses to pass through."

Juliet Richters and Stevie Clayton also discuss cling wrap in their paper The practical and symbolic purpose of dental dams in lesbian safer sex promotion:

"Cling wrap is likely to be effective simply because it is waterproof, although less robust than latex ﬁlm. Cling wrap is cheap, readily available, odourless and thinner than latex dams. If a piece tears during use it can easily be replaced. It is thus likely to be more acceptable to women for regular use than dental dams, but because of uncertainty about its possible permeability, many authorities remain reluctant to encourage its use. Laboratory evidence for the performance of cling wrap as a barrier to pathogens would be very useful"

It certainly would.

Don't forget, if you keep dental dams in stock, to store them in a dry cool place away from direct sunlight. Heat can cause the latex in dams to deteriorate, making them more likely to break.

REFERENCES AND ONLINE RESOURCES

Curvaceous Dee - Aunty Dee: dental dams

ACON - dental dams
Alex Robboy - How to use a dental dam
Could I have it? - STI check up
Emily Nagoski - top hat: lesbian pro
Eliott Marshall - Do it yourself dental dam
Get The Facts - Dental dams
Go Ask Alice - Where can find dams for oral sex?
Hunter Handsfield - Safe sex - Prevention technologies
Juliet Richters and Stevie Clayton - The practical and symbolic purpose of dental dams in lesbian safer sex promotion
Juliet Richters, Garrett Prestage, Karen Schneider and Stevie Clayton - "Do women use dental dams? Safer sex practices of lesbians and other women who have sex with women" Sexual Health (2010) Volume: 7, Issue: 2, Pages: 165-169
lunaKM - A Safer kinky Sex how to
Queertransmen.org - Getting action
STD About - How to make a dental dam from a condom
Scarleteen - Safe, sound and sexy
Scarleteen - Got questions? Get answers - Why use dental dams
Stanley Gomez - Dental dams: what they are and how you use them
Violet Blue - The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman and Give Her Exquisite Pleasure
Terri Wilder - Thoughts About Women and Oral Sex After Visiting the NYC Sex Museum
Wiki - Dental dams
Wiki - Fluid bonding

Thank you:
"Aunty Dee"
for the brilliant post
that inspired us to try :)

Photos:
Ms160

New (recyled) pervertable

2011-11-26T10:24:00.007+11:00

Sol made a new pervertable a few weeks ago, which has proved to be lots of fun. This is not an original idea, lots of friends have them ... although strangely I couldn't find many references online to show you. Perhaps it has a name I've not encountered yet?

This pervertable is so easy I don't think anyone needs instructions. Other than:

buy some beer ... drink it, then keep the bottle tops

recycle a piece of wood that fits a seat around your home

nail the bottle tops to the wood

OK you can buy lots of bottle tops in a packet, that's certainly quicker. However there is some discussion that unused bottle tops are not as sharp as used ones:

You can see these bottle tops are rather sharp at the top. If you are a seriously sick pervert you could also put some research into finding the meanest, sharpest bottle tops....

Sol set his in a grid so the bottle tops are in lovely straight lines, but equally you could just nail them on wherever, to create an asymmetrical pattern.

Basically you want enough bottle tops to cover a backside. We were thinking that we didn't want them too close to each other because you'd get a bed of nails effect and they wouldn't be as painful. But a friend in Sydney made one a couple of weeks ago with the bottle tops close and he's a mean bastard so the effect must still be fiendish!

When complete, you place the board on your chair (sol made it to fit this director's chair):

And place your sub on the board:

I asked sol what it felt like:

"painful .... like you have lots of bottle tops sticking in your ass".

I gave him a look. He tried again:

"what I mean is it feels exactly how it looks!"

He certainly found it hard to stay there for the time period I requested. Nice marks at the end:

End result: ten minutes work for hours of fun. Oh and we can even claim it's a green pervertable because of the recycling involved!

Photos:
Ms160

Sol takes a hundred strokes for our lurkers...

2011-11-21T13:44:00.000+11:00

After another very successful Love Our Lurkers Day, Bonnie posted the event had 159 Participating Blogs and 2,942 Total Comments. I don't think we are in that tally as we were offline during the period we should have let Bonnie know, but it's not really an issue. The fun is in taking part ... and then in fulfilling the promise we made to all lurkers who commented either here or dropped me a line at Fet: that sol would receive ten cane strokes for each participant.

Last Sunday it was time....

Here's sol in position looking at all the corporal punishment implements:

I was going to be able to chose quite a few different implements. To make sure I didn't get confused as to what I'd used or not used, I planned to place the toys I'd used to sol's left. I started with a lovely S(A)X black leather and fur strop:

It's a perfect warm up tool. I said to sol "these first ten strokes are for morningstar ":

"the first lurker (sort of lurker) to say "HI"" :)"

I first encountered morningstar's blog The Journey via The Heron Clan about eighteen months ago now. Apart from anything else we share community concerns ... and she also looks fucking hot in corsets :)

I then picked up one of our beloved Eric Carwardine rattan canes:

These ten strokes were for the VBB, a genuine lurker ... I'm so pleased he dropped us a line:

"Ma'am I have recently found your blog and it has quickly become one of my favorite blogs to read. I really enjoy the educational aspect and I have learned a lot as my wife and I continue to explore our FLDD relationship. Hope you have a great LOL day. The VBB"

Please keep in touch ... I hope you both enjoy the lovely color your strokes brought up on sol:

Next, I used our new "tiger" cane:

These ten stokes were for Hermione:

"This is my first visit here. Thanks for being a part of LOL 6. I like the present!
Hugs, Hermione in Canada"

I've been reading Hermione's Heart for a while now. She has a sense of whimsy and humor that delights me. As she has great style I thought she might like the "tiger" cane itself, with it's lovely burned markings, thuddy rather than whippy.

Results after ... let me see, yes sol's had thirty strokes:

I stopped for a moment to play with sol's bits:

Which inspired me to use this implement on his cock and balls:

The next very hard ten strikes on the genitals - which raised sol's knees off the floor lol - were for Chirenon from maleprotection:

"Hi (also from Canada). I've been lurking here for the past couple of weeks. I think I joined you as a follower a long time ago, but I only recently realized how much amazing content you've produced.

"I love all the things you do to Sol and I appreciate you sharing all the great photos. I loved the helicopter. I love the jailbird device and I hope you'll do even more photos of him in it from different angles, and more detailed photos of putting it on and taking it off. I love his sphinx and I would like to see more things done to him while he's in it, especially dildo fucking.

"The humiliation parties are great, but I wouldn't mind seeing a total CFNM party (as opposed to maid's outfits, etc.) On those lines, I hope you'll go hunting again and take lots more photos because I like seeing him naked in the wild while you're clothed. (Also, I hope he wears the jailbird during any CFNM parties or hunts --- pretty much at all times.)

"But --- all of that said --- the stapling photos were simply amazing. Among a wealth of favorites, those stand out as my absolute favorite. I would love for you to do that again. If you do, for variety it might be nice if it were staged in a more medical setting. Instead of having him in lingerie, he could be in a hospital gown that you strip him out of. Also, once he's stapled, I'd like to see him walk around that way and then then be on his hands and knees while he gets his ass pounded with a dildo, while his cock is helplessly sewn inside its prison.

"Anyway, those are just suggestions. I'm sure I'll be happy with whatever you do, since you're a visionary. Thanks for Lurkers Day and the opportunity to give you praise and feedback.

I wrote back in part that:

"I am also really pleased you liked the stapling. We haven't found anyone else doing that sort of thing. I was actually a bit worried about putting the photos up here because they are quite extreme, but it was such a hot scene I couldn't resist. Have you seen the video of that scene? There's one on my profile page at Fetlife."

"We are certainly planning to do more stapling and create the kind of scenes you mention (I also rather like the idea of stapling sol up at the beginning of a play party and then have him walk around in his chaps). So thank you for your comments, I know now there is someone out there who'll appreciate the scenes when we post them!"

As requested we'll also definitely do something with the Sphinx around Xmas time :)

Back to sol's backside .... next, I used an equestrian plaited leather covered cane:

They are called show canes and are rarely used now except in formal show hacking events. Much more useful in a BDSM toy box *grin*. These ten strokes were for SPANKEDHORTIC II:

"Being in Oz does that make this 707 day for you :) Hope the caning goes well.
Prefectdt"

The caning certainly went well Prefectdt, thank you so much for contributing to our fun :). And readers if you've not visited his blog, then do!!! Keeping things horsey I brought out our riding crop next:

Aware I was landing heavier strokes on sol's left ass cheek I concentrated on striking his right cheek, pulling it open with my right hand so the flat leather tip of the crop would impact on the soft inner flesh:

Sol makes nice noises when I do this. These strokes were for Todd and Suzy:

Happy LOL Day! :)
~Todd and Suzy

Have fun visiting their website, the American Spanking Society. Next came our infamous rawhide cane:

And finally a new light very swishy cane made and gifted by a Master we met at Roissy:

These strokes were for lurkers who contacted me privately via Fetlife. About 20 people contacted me but most didn't want sol to "be punished" as they saw it. I'm sort of in the middle of explaining that for sol, being a masochist, NOT caning him is the "punishment". But meanwhile I kept this part of the scene to about twenty or so light to medium strokes.

He had a lovely blush going:

Here he is dragging his fingernails over the marks to feel his welts:

He had some nice welts but they are hard to see in these pix:

But I hadn't quite finished ...

We moved to the bed platform, where sol gave me a very enjoyable orgasm. I then allowed him to play with himself while I administered a final ten last sharp slaps to his balls:

These were for another lurker who wrote via Fet, who enjoys our CBT play. When we reached one hundred strokes (all up, for all the different implements on different parts of sol)....

I generously gave him permission to come:

We were both so happily sated we just lay on the bed and smiled at each other. It really was a great afternoon. Sol wrote:

"well that certainly fun ... it really got me buzzy! I look forward to the next Love Our Lurker Day very much. Can we do 20 strokes each next time??"

LOL.Why wait til next year. If you want sol caned for you, drop us a line anytime!

Thank you again to the amazing Bonnie for creating and promoting Love Our Lurkers, and to everyone who took part this year. It's an honor to take part each year, and great to catch up with old friends ... as well as make new ones, especially so many from Canada :)

Logo:
Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts

Photos:
Ms160

Defining vanilla

2011-11-18T13:44:00.024+11:00

Readers, let's talk semantics. I'm sincerely interested in how you define the term "vanilla" in a BDSM lifestyle sense. I'm also interested in your thoughts on whether vanillas should attend scene events. This post will tie the two together.

This has got very long with everyone's feedback so I've reformatted it like a BDSM For Beginner series post which gives you a list of the topics we'll be covering and includes a References and Online Resources List for further reading if this is a topic that interests you. We'll be looking at:

What the term vanilla means in a BDSM context
What vanilla doesn't mean
Munches, who attends them and why vanillas usually don't
BDSM event screening
Problems when vanillas attend BDSM events - a case study
Conclusions

The usual quick housekeeping notes re BDSM For Beginners series posts:

These posts are usually very long (they are often based on my notes for two hour seminars). They require a pee break in the middle, unless you are a severe masochist, and at least one coffee break. You think I'm joking, don't you ... ha! Okay, cross your legs then ...

BDSM For Beginners' posts are not so much about my own experience as collating the experiences of other kinksters and checking out some good links for you, to further explore subjects that interest you. If you'd like your experiences and any advice added to this post, drop me a line either in the comments section or via my profile at Fetlife. I usually update every day the first week a post is up and then usually once a month (last update Dec2011).

Ready?

WHAT'S THE TERM VANILLA
MEAN IN A BDSM CONTEXT

"The vanilla bean is strong and sticky gooey,
Mmmm sexy. It certainly isn't plain."
chance - comments

Let's look at definitions. Wiki defines the term "vanilla sex" as:

"a description of what a culture regards as standard or conventional sexual behaviour. Different cultures, subcultures and individuals have different ideas about what constitutes this type of sex. Often, it is interpreted as sex which does not involve such elements as BDSM, kink, or fetish activities...

"The term "vanilla" derives from the use of vanilla extract as the basic flavoring for ice cream, and by extension, meaning "plain" or "conventional". In relationships where only one partner enjoys less conventional forms of sexual expression, the partner who does not enjoy such activities is often referred to as the vanilla partner..."

Franklin Veaux's BDSM Glossary defines vanilla as:

"Colloquial Not interested in or involved with BDSM or activities related to BDSM; as, a vanilla person. Usage: Sometimes considered condescending or insulting"

The latter is sometimes true, but I think these days it's a term that's mostly been reclaimed. You also find the term "'nilla" being used affectionately in the scene - see chance's quote above. I have several blogger friends who use "vanilla" in their blog titles. Fet has about 500 kinksters who use vanilla in their name, and about the same number of groups. And also of course "being vanilla" is not just a term used in the scene. Check out the responses in Urban Dictionary - you may be called a vanilla if you prefer:

"an activity or thing in its basic and unmodified state. Refers to vanilla ice cream. Used when expressing a preference for having something the traditional way. For example "I like my burgers vanilla, no mayonnaise or bacon for me please" "

Here are some of the responses from different people on yahoo answers to the question "in BDSM what is vanilla?"

"Vanilla is non-kinky sex. As BDSM by definition is kinky, vanilla BDSM just doesn't exist."

"In BDSM, vanilla is everything that is out of BDSM. Any sort of traditional/normal/non kinky sex that doesn't involve power dynamics is often considered vanilla."

"Vanilla" is sex that doesn't involve anything unusual basically. We usually use the term "vanilla" to describe sex that doesn't involve bdsm or any other fetish or paraphilia. A person can also be called "vanilla" if they aren't into bdsm or fetishism. "Vanilla" is generally synonyms with "plain".

"Vanilla is someone "traditional". Usually not into the whole dom/sub thing. "

"It means you are not into the kinky stuff."

Do you agree with these? Because if you work off those definitions, then here's:

WHAT'S NOT VANILLA

"how does one pass from vanilla to BDSM
if the door is so well guarded?"
dsfetishman - comment below

To me, the most important thing that's not vanilla is ... a new kinkster. They are kinky. No matter that they have never experienced anything kinky or BDSM wise, they possess the desire and hopefully will explore it.

Not everyone agrees with this. Which is as it should be lol. When I was younger I used to talk about crossing from vanilla to kink in sol's and my own journey. It's terminology a lot of us use ... for example, dsfetishman in his comment below:

"how does one pass from vanilla to BDSM if the door is so well guarded? Is reading about and viewing media sufficient schooling for someone to qualify them a entry pass? Isn't there a palpable difference between real and memorex?

"I suppose many struggle with how to pass through the door from one world to another. And it is a boundary not a place and one can't exist on a line... you are on one side or the other... or crossing it"

I wanted to share with him that there's even a term for this rite of passage: emergence. Which Mistress Steel describes as the process of:

"emerging from vanilla into the BDSM lifestyle, something like emerging from a cocoon"

She outlines several phases:

"At the onset many people are uncertain 'where' they might fall in this new world and they may have conflicting fantasies which in essence tell them merely that 'things' in this lifestyle seem to address images, fantasies, thoughts, hopes and dreams which have lingered just below the surface of the individual's life sometimes for many, many years..."

I like Mistress Steel's articles very much but in this case the uncertainties she describes simply reinforce the idea that we are born kinky in a vanilla world.

Vanilla manifests in lots of ways. I have friends that are "scene friendly" but they are definitely vanilla. I have friends that are "BDSM / kink friendly" and even try a bit on slap and tickle in their sex now and then, but they are clear they are still vanilla. And they are right. This blog makes them faint lol. I have friends who live a vanilla lifestyle but dream of BDSM. They desire the dark side. They are kinky ... and we all know at some point their journey will begin, probably by attending a munch.

Unfortunately, amongst other negative elements there are also, as Mistress Steel reports:

"those who are not BDSM at all but what the community call vanilla kink, these tend to be people looking for quick, easy, cheap sexual contacts and affairs with that 'edge' of kinky that they cannot find in their vanilla life"

This means that when one does attend an event some care must be taken.

MUNCHES, WHO ATTENDS THEM
AND WHY VANILLAS USUALLY DON'T

"I was ... very proud of myself that I have
taken the step to reach out and meet so
many like minded people,
right here in my own community"

t - private correspondence

Time for some more definitions. Wiki is fairly clear that BDSM events like munches and play parties are:

" social event[s] in which people practice BDSM and socialize with like-minded people"

They checked that statement with three references:

Brame G. (2001) Come Hither! A Commonsense Guide to Kinky Sex, Fusion Press, London, page 63
Moser C., Demystifying alternative sexual behaviors, in Sexuality, Reproduction & Menopause, Volume 4, Issue 2". October 2006. http://www.srmjournal.org/article/PIIS1546250106000260/fulltext/. Retrieved 2008-05-09.
"Moser C., A Glossary of Terms Used by Sexual Minorities, reproduced from San Francisco Medicine, Volume 71, No. 10". November/December 1998. http://www2.hu-berlin.de/sexology/GESUND/ARCHIV/moser3.htm. Retrieved 2008-05-09.

So they must feel okay about representing the community's views. What about munches? Munches are held at vanilla venues, sure, but they are (as Franklin Veaux's BDSM Glossary defines them):

" informal social gatherings of people interested in BDSM, usually in a public place such as a restaurant or cafe, for the purpose of meeting other like-minded people and socializing. A munch is generally a low-pressure gathering without overt BDSM overtones."

You can read more about munches on my post First contact: searching for "fine folk who understand". The title of that post came from a quote by Serving B, who was writing about their first interactions with other kinksters:

"The couples we have met are really upstanding folk who have hobbies, careers, families, and very interesting lives outside of D/s. We have our share of vanilla friends who we enjoy socializing with as well. But there is something very special sitting down to a meal with people who understand what this is all about. It's reassuring, too. it is really great getting together with such fine folk who understand it"

Absolutely.

So who normally attends munches? Jay Wiseman (the definitive writer on munches, a lot of event organizers send new attendees his article) was once asked what kind of people attend munches:

"People who attend munches can vary widely, however as a group they tend to be highly intelligent, highly imaginative, and highly individualistic. Essentially all attendees have a personal interest in BDSM ...

"Some munches are especially intended for certain types of people such as people of a certain age range or people with an interest in a particular aspect of BDSM play, and these are usually specifically advertised as such. While munches are definitely open to people of all sexual orientations, most have something of a mixed-gender, heterosexual/bisexual tone to them. People who cross-dress and transgendered people also sometimes attend. (If you have an interest in one-gender events, the munch hosts will likely be able to make a referral.)

"Munches are almost always for adults only and persons under 18 should not be brought unless the ground rules of the munch specifically state that they are welcome.

Let's summarize that:

Essentially all attendees have a personal interest in BDSM

Munches are almost always for adults only / persons under 18 should not attend

Jay wrote his article about munches a while back now but contemporary BDSM writers often echo his views. One example is Holly Pervocracy of Pervocracy who noted in her mid 2011 post "Asymmetrical perceptions":

" I think everyone at BDSM parties should have to identify themselves as a kinkster, as part of the party, not as a spectator"

In "Asymmetrical perceptions" Holly Pervocracy explores the:

"asymmetry [that] plagues almost any sex-positive endeavor that's open to the public. Hold a BDSM demonstration that involves nudity, and some people are going to ogle it like a strip show."

She sees "this asymmetry of perceptions is mainly due to two factors: context and participation." To place her first quote above in context:

"A big cause of asymmetrical perceptions at live events is when people are playing asymmetrical roles. People who put themselves in the role of "audience member" or "customer" at sex-positive activities tend to cause many more problems than people who put themselves in the role of "participant.

"I don't think everyone at BDSM parties has to play. But I think everyone at BDSM parties should have to identify themselves as a kinkster, as part of the party, not as a spectator. In practical terms, I think it would help to require everyone to help in some way to create the event. This could be an entirely token thing--bring one bag of chips, pick up one piece of trash--and it would still help people feel more like community members, less like consumers. And this is a second reason that I think "munch before you party" is so important.

"In a way, this is simply another aspect of providing context--letting people know that by engaging with sex-positive culture, they are now a part of it. Whatever false dichotomy someone had between "perverts like them" and "normal people like me" should be destroyed the instant they start getting enjoyment from the perverts."

Holly Pervocracy raises issues that are very important to BDSM event organizers. She is absolutely right when she points out that:

"people who put themselves in the role of "audience member" or "customer" at sex-positive activities tend to cause many more problems than people who put themselves in the role of "participant".

As a BBSM event organizer I take great care to make sure only "participants" attend my events, which was why it made sense to follow Jay Wiseman's ground rules. Every month members gather from Fet's Northern NSW group and we have a great time. For new attendees it's often the first time they have been in an environment with like minded individuals, where they can discuss all things kinky. I can't tell you how many messages I've received that thank me for providing a space where new kinksters can finally be themselves. They are very precious to me. Here's one:

"I was ... very proud of myself that I have taken the step to reach out and meet so many like minded people, right here in my own community ... It was nice to know that there are REAL people in this world, and some even close to home, that are there to talk with and act as a support to me"

Have (to use Holly Pervocracy's term) "audience members" or non participants attended these events? Now and then, when child minding arrangements have fallen through, yes. But the parent concerned has always contacted me in advance and asked if it's okay for the kids to attend. I then drop other attendees a line.

We now also hold "family munches" where everyone can bring family members, and it's understood that at these munches kinky conversation will be limited. These "family munches" often provide tremendous support and validation for kinksters, especially those who are married to vanilla partners. I've personally observed this ... and so has helza (see in the comment section below):

"I once went to a munch where a married couple were present, one of whom is kinky and the other vanilla. The vanilla partner is supportive of the other's involvement in bdsm, has a great deal of knowledge about bdsm, and came with the spouse to meet friends and share and deepen their understanding of this side of their partner's life. I thought this was wonderful, and cannot see how it could possibly threaten others in the bdsm lifestyle"

I agree.

Helza nails the problem spot on when she continues:

" it seems to me that perhaps there are two scenarios, one where people bring along vanilla friends or family who are well aware of their involvement and interest in bdsm and who are open-minded and accepting of it: and the other where people bring along vanilla friends or family who do not know about their involvement, or have an understanding of bdsm. I cannot for the life of me see why anyone would do that, as it would defeat the whole point of a munch, and I would be peeved myself if someone did this at a munch I was attending. I would be more than happy, however to meet and be open with vanilla folk who are "kink-friendly"

Exactly. And that often happens. Attendees sometimes bring a new kinkster lover or friend who shares their interests and wants to find out more.

But I should like to make it clear that in three years of holding monthly munches only once has an attendee asked to bring a vanilla partner or friend (their husband) to a non family munch (he never came in the end). It's always been understood as Jay Wiseman states, that the munches are for those with "a personal interest in BDSM". Helza echoes this when she writes above in regard to her second scenario, that bringing vanilla friends or family with no interest or understanding of BDSM:

"would defeat the whole point of a munch"

And that she:

"would be peeved myself if someone did this at a munch I was attending"

Okay lol so we could go round in circles trying to define terms like "a personal interest in BDSM" and "the whole point of a munch" ... but for me the point being made is further validated via BDSM event screening processes.

BDSM EVENT SCREENING

"The screening process is designed ...
to be sure that guests are safe,
sane, and consensual D/s lifestyle folks"
Sensuous Sadie

Now and then you find a BDSM event organizer who's very upfront in stating she does not screen her events, and that the safety of attendees at her events is not her responsibility. The other side of that are the BDSM event organizers who screen. Why do we do that? Here's Sensuous Sadie:

"The screening process is designed to weed out people who aren't really interested in or involved in D/s -- we don't want gawkers at gatherings -- and to be sure that guests are safe, sane, and consensual D/s lifestyle folks."

Let's just hear a bit more about it. The primary concern of Sadie's BDSM group:

" is that our group have in it only genuine D/s lifestyle people who are safe to have in our community... which actually protects the guest's individual privacy in the long run...

"We like to know who each person is, their phone number, and where they live. We also like to know if people are Dom/sub/or switch, hetro/bi/bi-curious/gay/lesbian/transgendered, single or coupled, and a little about their D/s history -- complete newbies, or the extent of their experience. Talking about such things gives us a chance to get a feel for people; weirdoes or gawkers give themselves away in the course of such conversations"

Let's summarize that as well:

we screen to weed out people who aren't really interested in or involved in D/s because we don't want gawkers at gatherings

we screen to be sure that guests are safe, sane, and consensual D/s lifestyle folks

screening also protects the guest's individual privacy

Screening helps control predators, tourists and creeps. Remember Mistress Steel touched on this before when she wrote of:

"those who are not BDSM at all but what the community call vanilla kink, these tend to be people looking for quick, easy, cheap sexual contacts and affairs with that 'edge' of kinky that they cannot find in their vanilla life"

Holly Pervocracy provides excellent descriptions in a comment at the end of her "Getting into BDSM part 2 your first play party" post:

"there are two types of people who are not welcome to just come and watch:

1) Tourists. These are people who show up in street clothes, don't play, don't mention being kinky themselves, don't mingle, and openly gawk or even laugh at scenes. They see themselves as "normal people" here to observe the fascinating local culture of the charming natives.

2) Creeps. These are people who see themselves as kinky, but still see the kink world as there for their convenience. They may be appropriately dressed or not, but they don't socialize except with their preferred "target" demographic and they leer or stare at scenes and at sexily dressed people. They tend to touch or talk to people inappropriately. In general, they act like they're trying to somehow harvest sex and sexiness from the kink world"

Not really people you want to encounter at your first event. This is in part why more and more kinky event organizers are bringing in BDSM screening. As I wrote on the earlier post about munches:

"Jay Wiseman wrote a few years back that:
"Munches are not highly screened. Munches are often publicly advertised and are generally open to all attendees who can observe a few basic rules of social conduct. What this means is that very little can be certain about a person's level of knowledge, experience, or trustworthiness from the mere fact that they are at a munch. While most attendees are fine in this regard, every now and then someone attends that you most definitely do not want to find yourself alone with - particularly if you're tied up!"
"However it is becoming more common to screen munches, as munch groups deal with attendees' concerns about local predators and non kinksters"

Here slaveinchains comments on safety issues in a personal profile thread on Fet:

"Vanilla people who have no understanding of the bdsm scene and no understanding of the protocols really have no place being at events. It can lead to uncomfortable situations for all and in some cases, can be dangerous."

Let's elaborate on that.

PROBLEMS WITH VANILLAS
AT BDSM EVENTS
- A CASE STUDY

"A guy called Earl Wilson once said,
"If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.""
SirTrisk, comments below

While writing this I've come across quite a few kinksters who - while admitting they have never attended a kinky event with vanillas - find it hard to understand how the presence of vanillas at scene events can cause a problem. In this part of the post I'm going to focus on one specific incident to provide an example of the disharmony and backlash that resulted after vanillas attended local events.

SirTrisk and his slave slaveinchains are respected members of the Australian scene. slaveinchains wrote the quote above after several incidents in the Queensland scene where vanillas - definitely not new kinksters - attended events with very negative results. Not only munches but play parties. In fact vanillas attending events is an increasing concern in that scene. I think I've had about five people raise the subject with me. slaveinchains continues :

"Some of the annoying things I have seen happen include:
Strangers going into people's toy bags without consent
Strangers taking and using other people's tools
People walking up to a submissive tied to a cross, during play to talk with them
People walking in the path of a flogger while in full swing.

"The first three are annoying but the last one can actually lead to the person hit by the flogger accusing the person weilding it of assault. It happens because the new people have no idea about expected behaviours or protocols. Often they have no genuine interest in the scene, other than a place to get their jollies.

"More annoying was the time I was at an event and a strange man who had been wandering around all night decided to 'feel me up' simply because he had seen Master doing it. No consent was obtained by this man, from either Master or me and certainly would not have been given.

"Getting more dangerous, was the time a submissive had been involved in breath play at a party then a man who didn't know her wrapped his hands around her throat because, hey, she'd already done it with someone it must be open season."

This complaint may look to you like nothing new, just like the usual rant about bad behavior from new kinksters at play parties. But remember we are talking about events happening at a scene where vanillas are present. That's people without a kinky bone in their body, no awareness of dungeon etiquette, someone's relatives, underage teen, just turned 18 or whatever. Which makes it much worse, as dsfetishman confirms:

"A play party is a whole other level and while people will socialize the purpose is to scene. As such a vanilla person would be a gawker, a journalist... a researcher... but not a part of the community. Depending on their decorum this could be a real problem"

Beyond frustrated, slaveinchains raised the matter in Fet's Australia - Spit the Dummy group where you are allowed to have a rant:

"Taking vanillas to scene events. I've come across this a few times. People taking a vanilla friend or relative to a scene event. It pisses me off quite frankly. I don't care how kink friendly they are. Scene events are for scene people. A person who is new with a genuine interest, no problem. What I don't like is a vanilla person tagging along. Be it a party or munch. These events are for scene people. Either leave your nilla friends at home or don't come."

What slaveinchains has written matches helza's second scenario, that we quoted above:

"where people bring along vanilla friends or family who do not know about their involvement, or have an understanding of bdsm. I cannot for the life of me see why anyone would do that, as it would defeat the whole point of a munch, and I would be peeved myself if someone did this at a munch I was attending"

And it's not exactly an uncommon view in the scene. Unfortunately the responses slaveinchains received would make you think the opposite. I can't quote those responses on that thread because the very nice group moderator sent me this:

PLEASE REMOVE ANY POSTS STOLEN FROM THIS THREAD FROM YOUR BLOG UNLESS YOU HAVE THE PERMISSION OF EVERYONE WHO HAS CONTRIBUTED TO THIS THREAD. WHICH YOU DONT. GROUP OWNER UMM-R

Well, actually GROUP OWNER UMM-R you might need to be careful there. It's fascinating watching your flock on Fet deny and delete and ban and here, comment below. But it won't stop interested readers checking out all their original responses via the link in the References and Online Resources list at the bottom of the post, including the bit where this post gets mentioned :). For now I'll paraphrase rather than directly quote each response, which IS allowed - and has been vetted - by Fet Caretakers. Who I am sure will soon remove the entire thread for what sol is correct in calling "bullying".

Right, where we we? As you can see, slaveinchains did not refer to any specific Australian scene community or event. Despite this a local event organizer decided the post referred to her events specifically and roused her support team.

Pack mentality then took hold. The result was what Ms_Neta and I call Crucifixion by Fet. slaveinchains was repeatedly insulted (please note these responses have been paraphrased and removed from quotations to meet with Fet's TOS: you naughty slave you .... totally intolerant ... a joke and so very naive .... crotchy old complainer ... pack of shit ... If you don't like it, perhaps it's you who should not be going to scene things .... difficulty solved!) as was SirTrisk when he raised one of the actual incidents that happened, which slaveinchains mentioned above:

SirTrisk: Bob, the 'nilla I'd kick out of an event is the one who watches breath-play being done, finds the submissive later and thinks that since they played with someone else it was OK for him to try strangling them.

****: (please note this response have been paraphrased to meet with Fet's TOS:) @SirTrisk, how did you know they were vanilla? Were they in some kind of /matching outfit? Perhaps a/ cardy? Did the vanilla just come up to the sub and put their hands around their throat?

Not really an incident to joke about, is it?

slaveinchains was then reprimanded like a child when GROUP OWNER UMM-R claimed she edited the original post . A longer thoughtful post on her profile trying to explain the whole issue ("in the interest of clear communications, I offer this") was completely ignored by the pack.

What's extraordinary about the responses - apart from their vitriol and the fuss they are kicking up now about this post - was the level of ignorance about BDSM scene events and who should attend them. Remember how clear helza was when quoted above - you immediately knew and trusted that she understood "the whole point of a munch" when she wrote about attending them. Equally slaveinchains made very clear in her second post (on her profile) that she was talking about vanillas, not new kinksters, attending events:

"When someone is new to the scene, I don't consider them vanilla. Personally, I don't believe they ever were, they simply hadn't discovered this aspect of themselves yet. To me, a vanilla person is someone who never really had an interest in bdsm and never will. They might do a bit of kinky hanky panky, but they don't understand the different headspace involved. They don't get it can be more than a furry pair of handcuffs and a silk scarf. They don't see that roles of Dominant and submissive can extend beyond sex or even the bedroom and they certainly don't understand why you would ever want it to."

Her views fit every definition I've quoted above. And the vanillas who have attended these local events range from non kinky relatives to just over / under 18s, so they absolutely do not meet Jay Wiseman's munch event attendance criteria. Yet here are some of the responses she received on her thread:

(please note these responses have been paraphrased to meet with Fet's TOS. You'll find a link to the original thread in the References and Online Resources List at the bottom of this post)

The OP says which is just silly - "Be it a party or munch. These events are for scene people." I mean, good grief, how do people move from vanilla to scenesters of they are not welcome at munches or events until they are certified as kinky? The mind boggles.

why should behavior change when attending a munch. Maybe tolerance is required? Just because they are attending with a friend, I am sure that they would be aware of the type of function it is Only someone who is BDSM friendly or curious would attend anyway. . Who died and made you judge and the people who sit in the box and say guilty or not

Put your hands up everyone who was NEVER vanilla

This is the biggest pile of poo l've come across in many long distinguished years ...

@OP..... Have you considered the fact that you are the big mistake here not vanillas

: .... some days you just got to wonder what geological formation some of members have crawled out from under .... The level of intolerance and prejudism that I see in the fetish community makes the nilla community look so tempting to live my life within. @OP - what exactly is wrong with some nillas coming along to events with a friend/s?
is a munch a BDSM event? if it is then why is there no bottoms with no clothes on tied down on furniture having fun? a munch is a munch and vanillas are welcome as far as i know.

Well, actually nooo, not in most of the kinky world.

I found it interesting that the munch organizer who claimed it was her munch that the vanillas attended also admitted she was not told that they would be there. That's not good, not knowing who's attending. That's why we have BDSM screening, and that's why munch organizers should keep track of who's at their event.

As I mentioned at the top of this section other posters didn't believe the presence of vanillas could influence a kinky event:

(please note this response has been paraphrased to meet with Fet's TOS. You'll find a link to the original thread in the References and Online Resources List at the bottom of this post)

I’ve never meet a ‘BDSM’ person who has been so upset by the presence of tag along vanillas at a munch , they felt unable to act in their usual way. My experience has been that having a vanilla present results in some BDSM people exaggerating what they do when others are present just to get a response. ... I'd also like to meet the vanilla who could stop any BDSM person doing what comes naturally.

With respect I think these posters remain unaware of the wider agenda within which slaveinchains' post was made, but as an event organizer myself, I can confirm that the presence of under age kids at a munch puts a halt on all BDSM conversation. Especially teens. Believe me, they totally stop kinksters "doing what comes naturally". Everyone sits politely and talks about the weather.

CONCLUSION

"All it takes for evil to flourish...."
SirTrisk - private communication

Endless topic, vanilla, it seems. So what we can learn from all this?

That there is good reason past and present BDSM event organizers remind us to keep our events only for those within the scene. Other event organizers agree, this matter is really is nothing new - see mischeifsub's comment below:

"I run a group that runs events, workshops and munches and we have a very strict screening process but occasionally a voyeur has gotten past it.... it ends in a not good way. Vanillas as you define it, do make other people uncomfortable at kink events and I "personally" do not wish to talk or play round vanillas for fear of judgement, or comments or..."

It's important to remember who we are. It's important to remember that our community is vulnerable, that our community is a gift that not all kinksters can share. We need to remember the unwritten ground rules that guard us - the importance of friendships, of education, of safe play and dungeon masters, of avoiding conflict within the scene. How we behave when such issues rise matters. As SirTrisk writes below:

"It matters because if people respond this way to a rant, how are they going to behave at a scene event. And that's the main thing: it matters because this isn't a play, these are real people who really act and think this way."

We also need to take responsibility for our words. The paraphrased response below was taken from one poster's thread trying to justifying her actions on slaveinchains' thread:

(please note this response has been paraphrased to meet with Fet's TOS. You'll find a link to the original thread in the References and Online Resources List at the bottom of this post)

should we have a duty to counteract / neutralize those who cock up? There was a thread on Fet about taking vanillas to kinky events ... the OP was /intimating this wasn't a good thing, and it could make people feel /ill at ease / uneasy / anxious and that the vanillas might behave in an/ improper / unsuitable -/ inapt / unbecoming / inept way. I made /over five responses. I didn't really want to talk /insultingly to or about / the OP, although i thought it was aan /unhappy mirror image on her opinions/, if she really wanted /kink to be as some sort of /area that protesters are legally prohibited from protesting in.
I don't want to /make clean by removing dirt, filth, or unwanted/ bdsm or even have it be a legitimate recreation. I don't want canes sold in Coles etc etc. However, a lot of the time, when people don't understand something, they tend to /talk insultingly to or about it, or be /frightened by it, and that's how silly /a broad statement about a group of people or things come about.
I think i would always/greet 'nilla people at events, as long as they have been /educated about the basics of /scene manners / courtesy / protocols
I mean, some /slang term for older people in the scene could really do with /an education in /scene manners / courtesy / protocols, right? I mean, how do you tell a /person is vanilla anyway?... I read an article in /a young woman' magazine years ago, that the most common female fantasy was being [please read the original this is beyond me!] Sounds /very warm!

I am /(of writing or speech) being lengthy and confused or inconsequential. The /article, object, item is, when someone does say something /controversial, antagonistic, there's a lot of people who leap in to the fray to have their say, sometimes in a /very very /mean /manner. Is this /productive healthy /dialogue? Any thoughts? Where is the line between vigorous /discussion and just being /frightful, terrible, abominable, unspeakable and /reverse, opposite?"

So sad that after all this she still does not understand the term vanilla. Slaveinchains meanwhile remains more understanding and patient than me:

"It was a general rant on the topic, but I forgot people don't tend to read the words written. People read what they think you were thinking and reply to that. Others will then come along and reply to the reply about what you might have been thinking when you wrote it and so on

"I have nothing against vanilla people, hell my whole family is full of them! ... It's just that when I attend a munch or an event, I don't want to be made to feel like a freak because I am being me, among the people who I would expect to accept it. When I can't be 'amongst my own kind' in an environment I think is safe to be open about who I am, then what is the point of going to any event? What becomes of the scene then?"

I know exactly what slaveinchains means. We tread such a fine line, balancing our personal worlds of BDSM and the vanilla world around us. I respect that vanilla world. I respect that some kinksters want to allow vanillas into their world. And if the local scene here - and their friends on Fet - want to allow vanillas into their events, good luck to them, I sincerely wish them well. No insults from my end to any of them :)

But the events I create are not for "audience members" / non participants / vanillas. They are for kinksters. All types of kinksters, many of whom have not been treated too well by the vanilla world. My events (whether munches or play events or educational workshops) and our home and this blog are a refuge from that world.

dsfetishman muses below that "[these topics] raise the issue of how does one pass ... if the door is so well guarded?". But no event organizer uses BDSM screening to guard against new kinksters. The door opens wide. I will never forget the grateful looks new kinksters give me at their first munch when they realize they are entirely amongst like minds, and can finally relax their guard. Safe from unfriendly eyes.

So I'm staying in line with most other kinky event organizers worldwide. I'll go on using BDSM screening, I'll go on using Jay Wiseman's ground rules as to who should attend munches. So that I can go on providing kinky event environments "safe to be open about who I am".

Somewhere slaveinchains is always welcome.

one of slaveinchains' desserts
which I'm sure has a touch of vanilla
(there is a Fet fetish for slaveinchains cooking lol)

REFERENCES AND ONLINE RESOURCES

GENERAL
Adding a Little BDsM into a Vanilla Relationship
belladomme - Introducing your partner to BDSM
Holly Pervocracy

lunaKM - Talking About BDSM to Vanilla Folk: What to Say and What to Avoid
Maître Pierre - BDSM and Vanilla People
Mistress Steel - Emergence
Nala - BDSM and a Vanilla partner
Sensuous Sadie How to Screen Guests for a BDSM Organization
Serving B Socializing
slaveinchains:

snugglepot

If you find either of these threads has been removed from Fet please drop me a line for a copy.

Wiki - play parties
Wiki - Vanilla sex

ON MUNCHES AND WHERE TO ATTEND ONE
READ FIRST
Jay Wiseman - A Beginner's Guide to BDSM Munches

THEN:
Mistress160 - First contact (searching for "fine folk that understand)
House of De Sade History of Munches
Mistress Ren and LesVoiles How to start a Munch
Ms Constance What to Expect at a Munch
Stu's Beginners Guide to Munches
A tribe thread about attending a first munch

FINDING A MUNCH NEAR YOU:

Fetlife.com is a great place to start. Join (its free) and then check out the regional groups section. I promise, you'll find something!

Also if you live in Australia, you'll find lots of munches listed:

Australian Kink Calendar

Thank you:
SirTrisk and slaveinchains
dsfetishman
helza
Sensuous Sadie
Mistress Steel
Jay Wiseman
servingB
Franklin Veaux
Wiki
Holly Pervocracy

special thanks to
snugglepot
for all the behind the scenes help
great work, sweetheart
you're been read by
about 1040 people :)

and the
other posters on the Taking vanillas to scene events thread
I really enjoyed paraphrasing :)

Photo:
Ms160
http://herbalreleaf.com/about-vanilla/49/

How can it possibly be a year??

2011-11-16T15:31:00.005+11:00

MsGawjusRedhead, lost to us on 16 November 2010.
Thinking of all those who love her

Some related posts:

KinkinMotion:

What I learned from Anita

Ms160:

Photo:
MsGawjusRedhead's Fetlife profile

Happy Love Our Lurkers Day :)

2011-11-10T11:31:00.005+11:00

Being in Oz I get a head start in posting for Love Our Lurkers Day. What's it all about? Here's Bonnie again:

"Several bloggers have asked me to explain what is expected of Love Our Lurkers Day participants. Here's the scoop.

"On Thursday, November 10, many spanking, DD, and Ds bloggers will publish posts where they invite their readers to comment. Any reader, even first timers, are welcome to participate, but the people we really hope to hear from are our beloved lurkers. A lurker is a regular reader who doesn't comment or otherwise let their presence be known. As most bloggers know, lurkers represent the majority of our readership.

"LOL Day provides an opportunity for these silent readers to speak. Perhaps they are shy. Maybe they think they have nothing to add. Or, possibly, they've been waiting to be invited. Tomorrow, we will issue that invitation. Bloggers are encouraged to interact with their readers. I enjoy meeting and learning about the silent majority"

So: lurkers, consider yourself invited ... please, come say hello :). And while I'm on the subject, thank you again for taking the time to check in with us, and to share our explorations. It's always an honor when you drop by.

Bonnie goes on:

"Some blogs will be running promotions, such as promising one swat per comment, to encourage participation. Others will engage readers in other creative ways. All in all, it's a fun day for everyone and a supportive environment for those who choose to de-lurk."

Now that's a great idea, I'd not thought of that. How about I cane sol ten strokes for every comment, and if you like I'll publish photos of the scene to show you "your" strokes *evil grin*.

As I wrote a couple of days ago, last LOL Day some lurkers couldn't quite do the public comment thing here but wrote to me privately at Fet. That's fine, too ... as Bonnie says, it's the interaction that counts. If you don't know Fetlife, you might like to sign up, it's free ... and then come say hello :)

We look forward to hearing from you,
Ms160 and solipsist
and of course The Xmas Present

sol puts the Xmas Present in bondage,
then torments her with a ball...

LOL Day banner and text:
Bonnie

Photo:
Ms160

How does chastity affect one's partner?

2011-11-09T15:55:00.000+11:00

For those interested in good posts about male chastity issues, Tom has a good one this week at Edge of Vanilla. He calls it Two Experiments and wrote it after being:

"struck by the rather profound insight that often gets overlooked when one reads chastity related fiction, or indeed, even the chastity related blogs that spring up. Most of the time we’re hearing about how the denial affects the man who asks to be denied, but we rarely hear about how it affects his partner.

"Let me qualify that. We often hear about how the Missus loves it because she gets backrubs, pedicures, and the the laundry done. Yeah, no duh; I mean, I’d love to get daily massages, myself, and if somebody would wash and iron my socks every week then that would be one less thing for me to worry about.
"But I’m talking about the more intimate and emotional aspects of chastity and denial..."

Tom then goes on to talk about his and Mrs Edge's first explorations with chastity.

I guess I'm one of the few that does cover the female side of things, but I 100% agree with Tom's point. If chastity is a fantasy in your life at present, but one you hope may soon become real, or even if you've been doing it for a while, Tom's post is definitely worth a read.

Remember, you can find out more about our chastity experiments on this blog's chastity page. You'll also find lots of other bloggers with similar interests over at Keyheld.

Banner:
Keyheld

Stockings: sol gets a lesson in "you get what you pay for"

2011-11-08T12:45:00.001+11:00

Years ago I used to yowl to sol whenever I purchased a pair of stockings that would turn out to be damaged or the wrong size. Good quality stockings are expensive, but every now and then I would think I'd found a decent cheap source .... only to always find out there was something wrong. At the time I'm not sure sol quite appreciated why I complained, but these days he's much more familiar with lingerie ... and is going through the same learning curve...

Recently sol purchased a packet of stockings from a cheap market store. I saw the product was made in China and that the image and text on the product packet were not clear. I said "look these may not be what you expect" but he replied "they are only a few dollars, let's give them a go". So we did.

They were supposed to be stockings, but when he undid the packet he discovered they were the type that were joined via a lace garter belt:

They were also supposed to be "large". They weren't. What with their length and their "garter belt top" it took sol quite a while to wiggle into them.

Once on, they looked okay. I said "I think you'll find that lace top doesn't stay up too well, but why not try wearing them to work today? I give you permission to take them off if they get too uncomfortable". So off he went to work, with this lingerie underneath:

When he came home he was very cross. "Look at this!" he said, hands on hips, after stripping off his jeans, T shirt and jumper:

I roared with laughter. Basically his dick and panties were the only things holding the stockings up!

At the back it looked even funnier ... this is what he'd looked like that morning (before putting his panties on):

But after a day at work the "garter" lace "top" had vanished under his ass cheeks:

So I don't think sol will be buying "stockings" from that cheap market store again! Ah the joys of wearing female lingerie.....!

Photos:
Ms160

It's nearly Love Our Lurkers Day :)

2011-11-04T14:54:00.004+11:00

It's nearly that time of year! Bonnie writes:

Yes, we do love our lurkers, and next Thursday, we will demonstrate that love. November 10th is the date for our sixth annual Love Our Lurkers Day.

For those unfamiliar with Love Our Lurkers Day, it's an annual event dedicated to appreciating and recognizing our silent readers. The idea is that each blog invites their readership to leave comments. We don't wish to compel anyone to speak, but for those waiting for their invitation to become part of the group, this is their day.

All bloggers are invited to join in the celebration. All readers are encouraged to leave comments. Last year, we had 110 blogs participating and 2,627 total comments. It was a lot of fun for everyone and we met many new friends.

If you are a blogger who would to meet your lurkers, all you need to do is create a post for LOL Day on November 10 and then respond to their comments. I will maintain a running list of participants. If you send me an e-mail when your post is up, I will add a link to your blog.

Along with creating your LOL post for November 10, I ask you to pass the word to spanking/Ds/DD bloggers who may not read MBS. We want this event to be as inclusive as possible.

Let's make LOL Day 6 our best community event ever!

Last year was our first time joining LOL so we are just starting, really. 5 people commented last year, which was great, most of them kindred spirited bloggers who've I've sincerely enjoyed reading. A few lurkers wrote to me privately at Fet rather than commenting on the blog, and that's fine as well. They were being very courageous in crossing the divide and saying anything at all. That's what LOL is about, after all.

As Bonnie says, Love Our Lurkers Day is "dedicated to appreciating and recognizing our silent readers". And there's a lot of you out there reading this blog regularly. I hope you know sol and I really do appreciate your dropping in to see what we've been up to, and what BDSM education we are trying to impart. We're glad there's a Day dedicated to you.

And sometimes too you drop out of nowhere and make us smile. I'm not a big one for promoting this blog (or BDSM For Beginners), I hope that people will find it when the time is right and they need it. But some unexpected praise just arrived over at my live Journal account, where I've left a short piece of text that reads:

Well, turned out I was pretty useless at maintaining this journal, lol. I'd suggest anyone wanting to know what I'm up to comes to visit me at Mistress160's Abode.

merlineunib left this reply:

"Great work keep it coming, best blog on earth"

Best blog on earth. Thanks for that, merlineunib. You definitely made our day *grin*

I'll post again on 10 November, on Love Our Lurkers Day, and look forward to hearing from anyone who wants to say hello. I'll even get sol to come and say hello as well :)

Banner and text:
swiped from Bonnie

The touch of leather ... part 2

2011-10-24T09:55:00.005+11:00

This is me :)

At Oz Kinkfest in Melbourne recently we stayed with good friends who are into the leather scene, and attended lots of workshops relating to that scene. However we also had some quality time catching up with friends LadyMiaMia and slave_to_Lady_M who are less interested in the leather scene than ...

LEATHER itself. As a divine fetish and passion all of it's own. I always love talking to them about leather. About the items they own. About how they store it. About each item's texture and smell and erotic potential...

I'm rather fond of leather myself, as I explained and explored in the first "Touch of leather" post:

"From the moment I first encountered Robert Mapplethorpe's "Self-Portrait with bull-whip" (1978) I thought leather chaps were the sexiest thing I'd ever seen (I don't have permission to reproduce that image so you'll need to click on that link to see it).

"Everyone else checking out "Self-Portrait with bull-whip" - which was part of Mapplethorpe's X Portfolio series and sparked national attention in the early 1990s when it was included in the National Endowment for the Arts' traveling exhibition Robert Mapplethorpe: The Perfect Moment - seemed to focus on the bullwhip up the photographer's ass. Funny, that *grin*. And I agree. It turned me on to the potential of bullwhips as well as anuses, LOL.

"But what I found most erotic of all was the very simple lacing at the back of Mapplethorpe's black leather chaps...

"That photograph made me feel I could almost smell and touch the leather garments Mapplethorpe was wearing ... the softness of the supple leather in some parts, the high sheen on other parts. And the leather cords themselves, laced at the back, hanging down like a flogger's falls. Mapplethorpe took the idea of the leather cords even further in another photograph "Untitled Self Portrait" (1973) where a taut leather strip emerges from between his ass cheeks. Now THAT was another hot photo. So simple, but so erotic...

I wrote that first "Touch of leather" post in thanks after Steve Sax from S(A)X gifted sol a pair of amazing lace up leather chaps:

"And when I say "lace up" I don't just mean at the back. These chaps have a seriously labor intensive design with lacing down each side:

"Doesn't sol look amazing in them? That ass is oh soooo tempting, framed in those soft black leather!"

As I noted sadly in that post:

"leather is an expensive beast. So (with the exception of a few games with leather laces) my own experiencing of wearing tight, laced leather didn't happen until last year, during a visit to Marquis De Sade's in Melbourne. The result was this:

"That leather corset is the most erotic thing I've ever owned and worn. I've worn other corsets before and absolutely adored them. But they were fabric. This one is the softest, softest leather. Every time I wear it and look down and see how the lacing cord cuts across the top of my breasts, my breath catches ... and no, that's not because I'm wearing the corset too tight!"

So I'm sure you'll understand my delight when - as a result of those Kinkfest conversations with LadyMiaMia and slave_to_Lady_M - a parcel recently arrived from them containing an absolutely stunning leather coat:

The leather is incredibly soft, and I love it's military cut. I also like what it does to my breasts *grin*:

As part of saying "thank you" I wanted to show LadyMiaMia and slave_to_Lady_M what I looked like wearing it .... so all our other readers get a look, too!

We have such amazing kinky friends :)

Many many thanks:
LadyMiaMia and slave_to_Lady_M

Photos:
Ms160
solipsist

Ms160 the Helicopter Pilot

2011-10-19T10:44:00.008+11:00

Recently after I joined a group on Fet my friend Song left the following message on my profile wall:

"Nooo way - get out of town!
You're not a helicopter pilot too - ARE YOU?
If so, why am I not surprised?
You are so accomplished at so many things! :)"

After I sent her a link to a certain video, she replied:

"Slaps forehead! Hehe, well at least I'm partly correct.
You are still such an accomplished lady!
Walks away muttering as she thumbs through her Bdsm terminology encyclopedia."

But her confusion is justified. This is not a form of CBT familiar to everyone, and as Song discovered, it's not listed in many good BDSM Glossaries. Even vanilla reference sources (for example Urban Dictionary) refer to their - vanilla - version of the ..er .. sport ... as:

"The forgotten art of cock spinning"

Forgotten, indeed. Cock spinning apparently involves:

"Simply hold your semi-flaccid member at the base and twirl in a clockwise motion. It's important to achieve optimum size and weight for the best results."

Ah, boys will be boys ... whether kinky or vanilla they are always in search of a new way to waggle their dick! The kinky version of this involves a very long piece of string or cord and is known as:

"Helicopter or Cock Twirling".

Or The Whirlybird. In it's simplest form you wrap the string or cord around the cock (or sometimes the cock and balls) lots and lots of times ... and then you pull the string very quickly. As it unwinds the cock spins in circles like the blades of a helicopter.

There are lots of ways you can jazz the basic format up, but in it's simplest form it's not a bad form of CBT to try, if you are new to BDSM. The esteemed Mistress Natashah (Brisbane) writes on her website that it's "a fun ice breaker for the novice and beginner".

What does it feel like? Here's Ropesy:

"She told me that she was going to give me a whirly bird and explained to me what a whirly bird is as she quickly wrapped the silk strings up along my penis. The strings weren't painfully tight but I knew what she was going to do next. I was in a state of relaxed suspense. When she reached the top, she looked up at me and asked, "Ready?" I nodded.

"She then yanked on the strings straight up into the air and my penis twirled around like a helicopter rotor around the tightening strings. The sensation of my dick rapidly twirling was almost like a vibrator. And it wasn't all that painful. Of course it's quite possible I went from 0 - 60 on the endorphin meter and just didn't feel it.

"As she yanked, I let out a big "WHAOH" Afterwards she asked, "Did you like that?" My brain rapidly processed all of this sudden and strange stimulus and came back with a reply. "YYYEEEEEE-HAAAAA-HUH-HA!"

Here's how sol and I started out. For the first few attempts I used a piece of cord we keep for CBT bondage ... note here how the loops around the balls are not tied:

I had sol do the hard work, winding the cord carefully in a tight spiral:

When we were ready I took the end of the cord ...

And pulled...

Of course there was no time to take a photo before it was all over, but in this photo I'm giving the "thumbs up" sign because the technique certainly had potential:

We tried the cord one more time, with sol on his knees:

Then we switched to thin round satin ribbons ... Satet had kindly given us several packets with exactly this kind of CBT in mind. Sol now had 7 meters to wrap ... and wrap ... and wrap LOL:

He had lots of fun:

One fan writes (requoted on this thread) after the cock is wrapped:

"The head will at this time, be engorged and incredibly sensitive, so take a little time and have some fun with it"

I then positioned sol on his knees again:

The results were very successful. We definitely achieved the helicopter look! I have two short videos, and I'll upload one on Fetlife soon and link to it here. Meanwhile here are some points that might prove useful:

Keep it simple to start

Good basics page about CBT here.

We've used cord and ribbon so far but dominants use all sorts of materials. Ms. Christine writes "rough gardening twine is good" while others advise "Be sure to use a soft material as to not “rug burn” the penis". Experiment.

Length of string is again variable. We find the 7m craft ribbon works really well but on the other hand Lady_Anna_Bradford has found "A nice long bootlace will do.". Remember the shorter the string the shorter / less painful your "whirly bird" action.

Don't tie a knot in the string around the base of the balls ... unless you are planning a major jerk at the end of your "flight"! Just loop the string around the balls and cross one loop under another.

Wind / wrap with care. Ms. Christine again: "if you don’t wrap the cord carefully, it will tangle and jerk. You have to wrap it in a tight spiral, not overlapping the turns"

Some people wrap the head, others don't. Some wrap the balls, others don't. Again: experiment, see what works best for you.

Why not apply the string / cord and then leave the genitals in tight bondage for a while?? This has two results: the effect of the bondage and also a build up of pressure. Here's LadyCBTwhip-bmp view on this : "Obviously the wrapping can not be helicoptered staight away, as it is better to make sure that all pre flight checks are throughly undertaken. The ripcord is primed and held at the ready awaiting that moment when the correct color in the balls is produced and the anxiousness appears on my boys face."

Opinions vary on what angle to pull the string at. Some prefer a downward pull, but when sol's on his knees I find pulling straight at the same level as his genitals works well. I found someone who agrees: " pull gently directly outward from the body".

You will need to pull hard and fast, otherwise the effect of the "rotating blades" will be lost but try to keep your pull steady and continuous

Don't forget to watch it whirl!! It's easy to get caught up in the scene and the planning and how your sub is after ... but all these things are minor compared to your own enjoyment of the few seconds you get to watch the blades in action. Forgot to watch? Do it again *grin*

Dana_Phais notes possible problems: "One thing I would have to be aware of if I was trying this out on someone and that is that it could cause torsion (twisting) of the testes, a common condition that occurs when your testis become twisted, cutting off the blood supply to your scrotum. Scrotal oedema, testicular tenderness, nausea and vomiting may occur next. Most of the time the twist can be corrected, but in rare cases, immediate surgery is required to ensure fertility. But there is always a certain amount of risk when dealing with CBT and BB. Also the string around the testes must released straight away because it will probably tight enough to cut the blood circulating to that area."

Dana also advises "I would also make sure there were no piercings in the area, or at least remove all genital jewelery." and another source agrees: "It isn’t advisable to do this to a man who has a genital piercing on the shaft or head of the cock without removing the jewelry first.". Having said that, we've had no problem with sol's PA ring ... perhaps because it's a closed loop? Anyway, be careful with piercings!

Check out Mistress_Tara's helicopter videos on Fet

Also punycunt's helicopter videos (esp this one where the balls are wrapped)

If you are a member of Kink Academy check out their "Cock helicopter video": "Lolita Wolf demonstrates the cock helicopter during this three-minute video. She notes the type and length of cord to use and then shows how to safely prepare the wrap for the surprising and fun finale"

Join Fet's group Domme Helicopter Pilots for more ideas

Most of all: have fun :)

Photos:
Ms160

Jailbird back on...

2011-10-14T12:18:00.004+11:00

For those readers interested in our Mature Metal Jailbird chastity device explorations, sol is now back in the device for a second go.

I let him out of the device for a week while he recovered from urethral region pinching. This problem was documented in our Jailbird - one week review post, but I'd like to stress it's not a fault in the device. It's just that sol needs to get used to the tighter fit of the Jailbird, and try and avoid the pinching which occurs when he starts to get hard and his silver PA ring and the Jailbird's metal bars interact.

Thanks to everyone who dropped us a line about this problem. We agree, we may end up having to change sol's PA jewelry and that's fine. If you find a great chastity device it's worth making any adaptations needed to make it fit perfectly.

Here he in, nicely positioned, before he put his clothes on for work this morning:

We'll be posting a two week review soon. I have to say, we are really liking the Jailbird so far :)

Other Jailbird posts:

Jail Bird ordered (why we chose it)
Jailbird arrives (manufacturer feedback, how the device looks etc)
Jailbird - two day review (first experiences)
Jailbird - one week review (lots of things we like about the device / first problem etc)

Photos:
Ms160

Rainbows for friends - part 3

2011-10-14T11:39:00.005+11:00

This one's for swan and family. Not a rainbow this time but a recent moonrise over our place, overlooking a sacred site now known as Sphinx Rock. Thinking of you all...

150 Lashes ... but not with a flogger lol....

2011-10-11T12:59:00.004+11:00

cassie from "...with a sense of pride" put up a great post recently showing how subtle BDSM awareness can be. I thought of her post when sol came home a few days ago with a six pack of a newly launched beer called One Fifty Lashes, lol.

How did it's creators James Squire come up with this particular name?

"The Lashes name is based on the true story of James Squire being discovered stealing ingredients from the hospital stores soon after his arrival with the first fleet, in order to make one of colony’s first batches of beer. The magistrate ordered 300 lashes… and he received 150 with the remainder to be served “when he could bear it”. James never received the balance of his sentence most likely because his attempts at brewing had proven so promising."

What about the beer itself?

"Lashes is a refreshing cloudy pale ale with restrained bitterness and a clean, smooth finish. We’ve used malted wheat as well as pale barley malt to add balance to the finish, while the late addition of Nelson Sauvin & Amarillo and also some Australian grown Willamette hops deliver a subdued fruity nose with hints of passionfruit, grapefruit and citrus.

"While modeled along the guidelines of the Australian Pale ale style in both appearance & degree of hoppiness, in true James Squire fashion we could not resist adding our own little twist. Lashes Pale is aimed at 4.2% alcohol, technically aligning it more toward the English Bitter Ale style."

Sol certainly enjoyed it, and we look forward to serving it to kinky friends when they visit!

Playing with electric fly swatters / electric paddles

2011-10-11T12:48:00.024+11:00

This post is about Edgeplay

Please don't view if you
are not interested in:
electrical play

"start with an electric flyswatter.
The high pitched whine of its charging,
and sudden jolting shocks...".
perverted imp - Masochist Brain

One of the great things we brought back from Kinkfest was this "Bug Zapper". There are many different kinds of electrical play, including TENS units, Violet Wands, EMS and ... Electric Fly Swatters!

Here's Wiki on the latter:

"manual bug zapper or electric flyswatter, which resembles a small tennis racquet strung with wire. A high voltage is maintained between two adjacent grids by a battery-powered high-voltage generator operated when a switch is pushed; when an insect is swatted it touches both grids. These devices are not protected against touch (they are only live while the switch is depressed); if touched they give a sharp but harmless electric shock."

There are a few different types available. judygrrl writes on Fet:

"It's important to remember that there are two kinds of these units...the OLD ones (fun and evil); and the NEW ones (safe and boring.) Basically...if they have "layers" (separated by a plastic thingy in the center)...you won't have a lot of "fun" with them (except that you can make e'm give of an evil sounding "zap" sound...good mind-f@ck!)"

While KinkyRoly writes on IC:

"There's two sorts generally on offer, the safe sort and the dodgy sort. Needless to say, you want the dodgy sort. The safe type has the grid of high voltage elements within a protective wire screen which lets flies through, but not bits of people. It's very difficult to use them effectively on people. Most electric fly swatters have two buttons. One to enable it and another one to charge it up. Pressing the charge button for a few seconds charges it up and lights a lamp showing that it's ready for use. Releasing the button earlier will partially charge it and produce a lesser shock, which may be useful when trying it out"

You need to make your own mind up re the safety factor of these toys, and for that you need to read more than the few quotes I've posted here, so check out the various links in the References and Online Resources list at the bottom of the this post.

Some people absolutely do not recommend them for play. Prober writes:

"I have given a bit of thought on the use of this bug zapper as a playtoy. It could be used however the safety aspect is questionable. The advertisement is correct in its' description that with the battery source and the method for generating the high voltage there is not enough current to be dangerous. That part is correct.

"There are potential problems however which are equally serious being the voltage generated is likely pulsed D.C. which is dangerous to the skin (I have not confirmed this but based on the fact that this is a cheap consumer device I would doubt that they would go to the time and expense to include appropriate circuitry to create an A.C. signal). Some of this might be difficult to follow, however the important issue to note here is that direct current (D.C.) or pulsed D.C. is potentially harmful by burning the skin. Always use a system that uses alternating current (A.C.)

"The distance between electric plates on the bug zapper are designed to kill bugs. Therefore between electrodes you have only about a quarter of an inch. This small space is limited especially when you might wish to select a larger *grIN* area on the surface of the body to inflict your pain enjoyment.

"The last problem that I see is that there is no adjustment .... This means the intensity of the electric shock is fixed and only time of application can be changed. This is not good. Ideally you want adjustability and NOT voltage regulation..you want current regulation so as the victums body changes characteristics (resistance) you are always generating the same current (stimulation).

"Would I use one? Would I recommend others to try them as playtoys? No. They are far too limited in ability and rather than turn you off of electric play I would rather see people use something specifically designed for the purpose"

We'll discuss "something specifically designed for the purpose" later, but let's look at some other opinions about safety. Marcus Strapp accompanies his text in "How to Build a Zapper Instructions" with this "Note":

"This is not a recommendation. This is a record of my experience. You copy what I have done, you do so at your own risk.

"Is it safe? I don't know! At least I have nothing in the way of hard evidence to say that it is. Although the Zapper is powered by two AA Batteries (1.5V each) the voltage at the business end is much higher. I put a digital multimeter with hold facility across the terminals and recorded an instantaneous peak voltage of nearly 1,500V! I would only use this on someone in A1 health. I certainly would not use it on anyone with any heart condition or someone using a pace maker.

"my decision to use it is based on lots of trying it out on me, and the fact that the fly swatter is available for sale without any restrictions on the purchaser (such as age). but then, matches are freely available too!"

Here Tanos discusses the safety aspects:

"If you're thinking about making or using one yourself, you need to understand the risks as they apply to you. You may get tiny electrical burns; high voltage toys can damage electronics, including pacemakers, etc. If in doubt, ask your doctor if it's safe for YOU to "use a fly swatter."

Finally, here's Malystryx from a thread on Fet about electric fly swatters:

"I have used electric fly swatters for a good period of time on a good number of people from the tips of noses to their toes, will nothing worse than a string of profanities being issued when it's used or a complaint that it still hurt, but subsided in two hours or less. Granted, nothing is 100% safe and yes, there are some risks which include startling someone to possible electrical burns, but if you play with awareness of the risks, all should be fine.
"You can get the "zap" from quickly touching it to the skin and removing it(a little more severe than a good static electricity shock," or you can hold your finger on the charge button and run it over a person's body which gives a tingly, kind of like a violet wand, feeling. The voltage has little to do with their use and effectiveness IMO, but I would look at local or online farm suppliers for one without safety grids which is where I've found them most recently."

Electric fly swatters or zappers are used in BDSM play in several ways. Some people leave the swatter in the form they bought it and use it as an "electric spanking paddle", for either spanking or related play.

image from 4.sick.com

Here's an incredibly hot quote from My Not-So-Secret Self posted on the Spanking Blog:

"The wires hot with electricity touch the tender flesh of my inner thigh and I feel it surge along my body; unlike the cattle prod it doesn’t echo deep into my body but rather seems to travel along my skin, like waves in the ocean slipping away into calm nothingness.

"She pauses, waiting for my response; it really doesn’t hurt all that much, and I tell her so, giggling quietly. As she agrees with me, I jerk involuntarily at the unexpected touch of the fly swatter on my other thigh.

"This time, I give in to the electricity – letting the incredible feelings wash over me. I feel zippy light pain, almost indistinguishable from the floaty mindless pleasure that overwhelms me. But before the sensations have a chance to dissipate, I feel it starting all over again as she touches the fly swatter to the first thigh, yet again.

"The intensity of the electricity becomes harder to control as she gently touches the fly swatter back and forth between my inner thighs. I lose control quickly and she coos at me calmly that I need to stay still. Despite my best efforts, my legs are thrashing and my body won’t stop moving – I can no longer defeat the current..."

photo from Spanking blog

Greta Christina advises in "Shock Treatment", her in depth review of "electric paddles":

"I should tell you right off the bat -- "paddle" is a bit of a misnomer. Yes, the size and shape of the toy are very paddle-like. But the feel as it lands on your skin couldn't be more different from a paddle. This is not a "thud" toy at all. This is a serious "sting" toy. It discharges onto your skin with a sharp, sudden, cruel bite, focused on a very small area.

"The pain is erotic, even sensual in a way, but it's not hypnotic or massage-y like a spanking or a flogging can be. This toy wakes you the hell up. The first time I got zapped with it, it scared me half out of my skin. I almost thought it was too much. But by the third or fourth time, I was squealing when the shock hit and begging for more. It doesn't feel quite like any other play toy I've used, but if I had to compare it to something, I'd say it's like being hit with a riding crop or a single-tail whip. But it gives you that sensation without any actual impact at all..."

However it's not all good news, in Greta Christina's review:

"The big downside is that you can't control the intensity of the shock. If the intensity is too much, you can't dial it down, and if it's not quite mean enough for you, you can't crank it up. The shock level does vary somewhat within a small range, but that variety seems to come more or less at random. Also, the round racquet shape makes it difficult to use on hard-to-reach parts of the body. If it were shaped more like a wand or a rod, it'd be more handy as a sex toy. But then you couldn't swat flies with it, which is after all what the damn thing is made for.

"What's more, you really cannot use the Electric Paddle as a paddle. Well, you could, but I wouldn't recommend it. It's far too flimsy. If you hit someone with it hard enough to actually have an impact, it seems like it wouldn't hold up for long..."

I think the flimsy factor, together with the fact its hard to actually use in it's "tennis racquet" form factor is in part why many kinksters adapt their electric swatters. You might recall my first experience of playing with one of these modified swatters: Mistress Tara's "sub zapper", which I first used during the "predicament" tableau MzAntonina and I created during our Victorian themed high protocol tea party. Here's what I wrote about the scene at the time:

"As our guests drew, I walked about the tableau with Mistress Tara's subzapper. I first heard of this toy after sol attended MistressTara's "Sadistic play" workshop at The Gathering. I couldn't attend because I was moderating another workshop but sol was full of talk / possibilities re MistressTara's fiendish creation. I'd asked MistressTara to bring it today and the guests had already enjoyed seeing it used on solipsist and wolve.

Ms160 - Tableau photo
original post here

"Now, as I moved quietly around the tableau, none of the subs knew where I'd apply it, and the whole tableau rocked away from me as I walked around and around. Hmmm. How to strike, to cause the most damage. I looked down. Of course! After silently conferring with Mistress Meg I zapped nickzwa on the backside. He flinched and the whole tableau shook. He later wrote:
"Whenever a subbie was zapped i felt the pressure shift on my back. my arms were growing tired and i started to drop lower because the weight on by back kept flinching and jumping and whimpering. i felt a sudden zap on my arse and then another! i felt the entire sculpture move. i was zapped again but i did not flinch ... Then i was told to reposition myself properly. i had lowered myself too much!. i pushed on my arms again and made my back level. it was hard being a table"
"I was really delighted to read later that nickzwa enjoyed the tableau and found "it was hard being a table". In fact, nickzwa had been placed in that position at the bottom of the tableau for a very important reason - he had mentioned a particular objectification fantasy in his ClubFEM - NSW server's questionnaire, so I had discussed with his Mistress the possibility of making it come true, although perhaps not in a way nickzwa had visualized!

"I was still walking around the tableau looking for good places to strike. "Try the balls" said someone. I could reach nickzwa's .... but "you didn't say WHO's balls" I replied as I inserted the device up the back of desertstorm's skirt. He too flinched and moved forward, and the tableau rocked again.

"I moved to the other side. By now I was becoming hyper aware of slavegirl_M's response to my movements. She was breathing fast and flinching away. Now I knew, and her owner Mistress Tara knew, as we'd discussed all this, that the subzapper was only to be used on slavegirl_M for severe punishments. But slavegirlM certainly didn't know that. From her point of view she had a strange dominant roaming around her who may not understand how the toy was usually used. I looked up at Mistress Tara. "The flinching, the scent of fear ... it's intoxicating", I said. She grinned. I touched the underside of M's right arm with a finger tip and the whole tableau nearly toppled..."

I'm sure you can understand after reading that why sol and I have been looking for an electric fly swatter of our own to adapt since that scene *grin*.

There are lots of different ways to adapt your electric fly swatter. As Mech wrote on Fet:

"I have a couple of them i have modified , one is a rivet studded leather paddle , the other is made like a stun gun with two protruding rivets , they are fun"

Here's some ideas:

If you want a Taser style implement, check out Marcus Strapp's instructions.

If you prefer a cattle prod style implement, I highly recommend Tanos's instructions ("[I started] thinking about cattle-prod like adaptations, with the business end on a long metal shaft. This has obvious uses for "moving" slaves around woods") (final photo here).

thisgirlsub posts her Dom's instructions for "converting a flyswatter into a 'cattle prod' type item...the contacts become smaller and this will make it hurt more than using it as a bat ... [these are] very basic instructions and depending on your level of skill you should be able to adapt these instructions to make a fairly effective "subby prod" on this Fetlife thread.

If you like the cattle prod style but don't want to do any modifications you might like to track down a TAZapper:

"Made from durable plastic and a circuit board that has undergone rigorous testing ... Like a miniature cattle prod, the TAZAPPER delivers a concentrated spark of differential, non-penetrating static electricity across its gold plated contacts. The contacts are 5mm apart and are looped back into the nose housing to prevent snagging. The unit will deliver an impressive sounding and looking spark repeatedly until the batteries run down..."

snakeman describes the TAZapper on Fet as:

"an electric flyswatter modified with a voltage regulator and has two contacts about 5mm apart instead of a grid for more precise targeting on the recipient. I own one and find that it makes a bigger brighter spark and a louder pop than it’s cousin the fly swatter but with less bite"

.TwistedView agrees this Fet thread

"I've played with both the Tazapper and a converted fly swatter and they are almost identical. I wouldn't spend the money on a Tazapper when you can take a fly swatter and use that. The Tazapper/swatter is a single shock. One quick pulse"

However perhaps the TAZapper is the kind of "something specifically designed for the purpose" that critics of playing with electric fly swatters like Prober would be happier to recommend.

Once you've adapted your new toy you need to read up on how and wear to use it - the Fetlife and IC threads in the References and Online Resources list below are useful to find direct experiences and advice, but here's a few quotes to start.

Marcus Strapp writes in "How to Build a Zapper Instructions":

"How do you use it? Charge it up (you need to hold down the "on/off" button and the "Safety" button). Go in quick, make contact, then immediately pull back! if you maintain contact with the victim you run the risk of repeat sparking and that will cause burning. a quick contact will cause a spark, but in my experience, provided you avoid sensitive AREAS there is little or no sign of burning. where can you use it? so far i have tested it on myself on arms, legs, feet, hands, arse, and lower torso.

"Personally i would not go anywhere else. as tempting as it is, i'd avoid nipples, and other sensitive bits and bobs. i'd also stay away from the face. what this delivers, is not nice. you simply do not need to over use it. it's a great head fuck to let someone see it, then blindfold them, shock 'em once, and just prod them with the thing without charging it up! they're going to jump anyway!"

TheProf advises on IC:

"Seriously, do keep them away from soft tissue, nipples or the head of the penis, especially. The discharge is enough to actually cook thin flesh, causing burns that never heal well."

Finally, an extended quote from V and G of Erotic sushi who write of their oh so very erotic experience with a TAZapper:

"Sir had me bound, gagged, blindfolded, spreader bar between my ankles, vibrating nipple clamps in place.... he moved around the room silently, making occasional deliberate noises to heighten my anticipation. I knew it MUST be coming, but when? Where? and HOW would it feel?

"I was on the brink of a delicious squirting orgasm courtesy of a glass dildo and the Eroscillator... when he did it. It sent me plummeting away from my orgasm as quickly as anything ever has. ZAP!!! Right on my inner thigh ligament... the one that helps form the hollow between my pussy and my leg... a supremely sensitive spot. Zowie.

"And..... mmmmmmm...... It was followed almost immediately by another matching ZAP!!! on the other side, then one on the side of my breast: that one seemed to shoot down my arm a bit. OuchDammitFreakyCoolYowza. More please....

"He did this several more times, just as I was cresting orgasms, until I was dying to cum. It was one of the best orgasms of my life.

"So what does it feel like? Hmmm... hard to describe. Imagine someone takes a little rubber band and snaps you with it. Close, except that the sensation travels outward from the point of impact a little, sort of slithers under your skin... and the sting goes away almost instantaneously, unlike the aforementioned rubber band. Or just imagine a static electricity shock times about 25. Oh, and you know its coming"

V and G of Erotic Sushi commented about the strength of the TAZapper:

"Now I think I have a fairly high pain tolerance, but ... I would imagine that there are some out there who might think it just barely tickles. It only has one power setting. So it would take some serious electrical pimping-out to make it do anything more."

Snakeman agrees:

"When I have used the tazapper on myself I have found the sensation to be less intense than a non-modified electric flyswatter and everyone who sampled it to date concurs"

So it's definitely up to each individual to work out their own responses, to both electric fly swatters and the TAZapper.

UPDATE 19 OCT 2011:

Here's sol creating our new zapper:

We used this plug, which came off an Indonesian appliance:

It really only took about half an hour:

And here's the end result:

It's certainly painful. We'll keep you informed of any future scenes in which it takes part. I find I agree with V and G of Erotic sushi that these devices are:

"a novelty and a nice addition to our toybox... and just knowing its in there makes putting the blindfold on all that much more interesting"

I'm always amazed what devices - electric or otherwise - we kinksters end up "perverting". As Spanking blog observed:

"Somewhere Thomas Edison is smiling in his grave"

REFERENCES AND ONLINE RESOURCES

WANT ONE?
You can purchase one from a BDSM store:

Extreme Restraints - "Electric Zapper Paddle For Spanking" - "This really give them a jolt without much stress on your pocketbook! Originally this lightweight plastic and wire tennis racket shaped paddle was intended for use as an electric fly swatter or bug zapper. Activate the paddle by pressing the button to turn the paddle on and then apply it to the target. This electric zapper paddle emits a really intense electrical shock."
The Stockroom - The Zapper: "We believe these electric paddles were originally intended as bug zappers. Leave it to us kinksters to come up with an equally cruel but consensual use for them. ... These paddles are constructed of lightweight plastic and aren’t well-suited for heavy swats, but can be used lightly and don’t require any force once the electricity is flowing. These paddles put out an intense spark and will probably mainly appeal to heavier players"

But some stores are extremely pricey. I saw one fly swatter priced at nearly 40 Euros. So you might like to check at local cheaper stores or markets. We purchased ours for a few bucks at a Melbourne market.

You might also like to look at the TAZapper, although it seems to be mostly out of stock these days, in various stores.

GENERAL:
Peter Boots and Dirk - Electricity Reference
BDSM Electrical Stimulation - Can Hand-held bug zappers be used safely for electric play?

Greta Christina - Shock Treatment: Electric Paddle Review
Caged Heart Publishing - BDSM Scenes & Electrical Play: Violet Wands, TENS Units and Bug Zappers
Tony DeBlase - The Difference Between Violet Wands and TENS Type Units
Erotic Sushi - The TAZapper
Fet Electric play group

perverted imp - Masochist Brain
Spanking blog

Sparks - Information on Electric Play
Marcus Strapp

Tanos - Making a "flyprod"
Wiki - Bug Zapper

Photos:
electric fly swatter on pussy - 4sick.com
photo from Spanking blog
Ms160
(permissions obtained from
everyone in Tableau photo ...
original post here)

Jailbird - one week review

2011-10-07T11:04:00.007+11:00

We are still enjoying the Jailbird device. It's been a week, however I'm now taking sol out of the device for a bit. I'll explain..

In terms of a product review it's mostly good news. Let me go through a few points.

Remembering the Fort (which I loved for it's weight but it was certainly obvious under clothes) we thought being metal the Jailbird might have a similar high profile, despite the Mature Metal website stating about the device:

"it has a very low profile that is easy to hide under clothing"

We are delighted to be proved wrong here. We definitely agree about the low profile ... you can hardly see the Jailbird under sol's panties:

As a key holder, I also like the weight and feel of the Jailbird. The website lists the specs as:

"Item is constructed of 316 surgical stainless steel using 1/4″ and
1/8″ round bar.
Base ring is constructed on 1/4″ round bar.
All parts are handmade and can be built to any size.
Light Weight 5 OZ. (For average size)"

It's not nearly as heavy as the Fort but the metal does weigh the genitals down a bit, which is a look I really like. I'll show you a photo of what I mean a bit later in this post. I also love it's bright and shiny look. I'm 100% with Dev:

"I think the steel is so much sexier than plastic and there aren’t any pegs to poke me. I definitely love the JB."

We find the device's oval rings interesting. Divine Mistress Angelique wrote about these on a ChastityMansion forum thread that she had asked Mature Metal about these and been told:

"The oval ring aligns the bottom of the ring closer to the bottom of the cage. This allows a uniformed gap all the way around. A few of my customers want the round ring but it adds to the gap at the bottom and make it less comfortable and less secure."

You can see what he means in this photo:

We agree with the Mature Metal website that the device is easy to clean ... although it's only been on a week sol's comment is "its a lot better than the CB". It's great not having to remove the device for cleaning. Peeing was a bit splatter-y at first - as sol also has a PA piercing - but he got the hang of it quickly.

Sol's had no trouble sleeping through the night, which if often a problem for others wearing chastity devices. As Burger_01 notes:

"those familiar with male chastity devices will be aware of what happens at night. The first night I put this device on, I slept right through (and the second night, and the third..). I’ve never slept all night in a plastic device. I think that statement best highlights the differences between a piece of pre molded plastic, and a custom made stainless steel device. I’m very happy with it"

Erections ... well, because it's custom sized to sol's dimensions he doesn't actually get much chance to grow. MM is very clear you need to order a "snug fit". Here's a couple of photos so you can see sol's snug fit:

The custom fit means you get less problems. Here's sol:

"when you get semi erect your circulation can get cut off by the base ring of devices like the CB. This is very painful. MM devices like the Jailbird being custom fitted avoids this problem"

That doesn't mean he doesn't get a little bit erect LOLOL:

These photos were taken after I'd done a bit of stimulation. I really liked the look of his flesh straining through the shiny, smooth metal bars:

There has so far been no abrasions or skin problems on sol's shaft or balls. I grimaced a bit when I read dollyanne's Jailbird review on Chastity Mansions:

"Then, on the fifth day dolly experienced a pain at the base of the A-ring, which caused her to remove it. It turned out that the pain was due to an injury that had been caused by the cb-2000 and dolly was aware of it. So, all dolly had to do was to reattach the device and make sure the ring wasn't over that sensitive spot"

This is not reflecting a problem with the Jailbird. It's just that so many serious chastity device wearers - including sol - now have "sore spots" on their genitals that were repeatedly rubbed raw while wearing badly made or poorly fitting devices. And as dollyanne found, these can sometimes flare up even when wearing the best made custom device. This photo shows where sol usually gets abrasions when wearing CBs or the BON4:

Definitely none there :) The only problem we've encountered is pinching of the skin near / around / at the tip of sol's urethra, near his PA ring and the device. The Mature Metal website states:

"The stainless steel bars are very rigid which means they will not bend nor pinch"

That's true, but when you have a Prince Albert piercing, any metal jewelry you wear through it potentially can cause problems because as sol points out:

"The sensitive end of your urethra is getting pinched between two bits of metal"

It's not a constant problem, only one that might occur when he tries to get erect. sol again:

"when you are not erect you can just move position and find something mote comfortable but if you are semi erect the PA ring is mashed up against the bars"

This photo shows sol as erect as he can get, you'll see what we mean if you look at his silver PA ring which you can just glimpse between the bars at far left:

In this photo no skin near the urethra is catching but you can see how easily it can. All you need is for the cock to be in a slightly different position, and with the pressure from the erection ... sol's right, it's very hard to re-jig when the "PA ring is mashed up against the bars".

I did some research to see if anyone else had encountered this, and found that Spike's bitch had posted on a Chastity Mansions forum thread:

"Has anybody used the jailbird with a PA? Just curious if it causes any pressure irritation with hardons when the PA is inside the cage?"

There were several responses, but nothing really specific. Spike's bitch later posted:

"Mistress mentioned to that we could change jewelry if my current PA ring causes pressure issues inside the jailbird"

By the end of a week wearing the device constantly sol's urethra was quite sore. I've removed the device for a few days until the irritation heals. Then we'll have another go. Now we are aware this irritation may build up I'll instruct him to immediately reposition himself when any pinching occurs. If we continue to encounter problems it might be time for a PA jewelry change.

It's a slightly different issue but you might be wondering why we purchased a Mature Metal device without a PA attachment. Mature Metal get lots of requests for products with PA attachments, but as MM posted once on Fet:

"I have not made a design with a PA attachment that fits my standards. Cages with PAs are great, but are plagued with problems"

He's not wrong. He continues:

"I have had lots of customers purchase my devices and use a simple ring with a cable that attaches to the lock. They seem to like it. From what my customer have told me if there is no back ring then the device pulls on the PA. The ring helps support the cage so there is no pulling."

Which is something we might consider. It should also stop the pinching, as well as up security.

That's the only negative point in our Jailbird one week review. I'd like to end on a positive note so I'll finish up by writing a bit about a scene on the weekend where the device really featured.

You can read more about our recent scene with sol's "sphinx" here, but for this post I'll reproduce images that show how the Jailbird became part of our play. The "sphinx" has a genital attachment post as well as collar and ankle / wrist cuffs, and once sol's locked in he really can't move:

This is how appealing his cock and balls looked in the Jailbird, forced back by being tied to the "sphinx" post:

I really couldn't help focusing a lot of play on those vulnerable balls!:

This is what I mean about the weight of the device, how I like how it pulls the genitals down a little:

At the end of the scene I unlocked sol:

And gave him permission to masturbate ... and being a kind Mistress and feeling generous I then let him come:

We look forward to future play where the Jailbird features :)

As I wrote above, I'll keep him out of the device until his urethra area heals, but I'm sure there will be another Jailbird update in a week or so....

Other related posts:

NOTE - DEC 2011:

This review helped an Australian D/s couple Lady Geisha and corporateslave make a decision to go with the Jailbird. You might like to read corporateslave's thoughtful post "Thoughts on chastity for the well endowed".

Photos:
Ms160

The Sphinx gets a name...

2011-10-05T10:45:00.010+11:00

In May 2007 I posted:

"My boy has made himself a new toy. It's the ultimate home made pervertable, lol!

"It's a rather useful frame consisting of several nicely sanded pieces of wood and half a dozen leather dog collars. The collars attach to the sub's neck, wrists, ankles - and lastly, a very fiendish one around the cock and balls....

The result is a neatly imobilized sub. Its not nearly as comfortable as it looks (joke). As you can see from the photo on the left it creates a lot of strain on the arms and upper back.

You can also considerably up the stress by tightening that collar around the cock and balls.

Oh and of course - because they are in SUCH a vulnerable position - also by focusing your attention on the family jewels with other items, such as small floggers, Wartenberg wheels, pegs, bamboo skewers etc.

"The frame's positioning of the sub presents all sorts of interesting posibilities, including a well positioned back (for all sorts of impact toys) and a lovely raised ass with cheeks apart. Great for ...well, everything really (*evil grin*).

"You can place the frame on the floor, or on a table. We have a sturdy rectangular coffee table thats perfect. The increased height means you can make everything perfect for whatever game you have in mind (positioned on the frame on the coffee table, sol's ass is at the best angle possible for strap on attack).

The entire frame can be taken apart, stored or transported and very quickly and easily re-assembled. Sol's still working on the design ... Meanwhile I'm enjoying thinking up evil things to do with it. So far one of my favourites is to put sol in position on the coffee table and leave him there, while I sit and watch TV. I'm very kind though, I even feed him dinner. He looks SO cute, somewhat like a trussed turkey just before it goes in the oven ... hmmm, might be time for an apple in the mouth and for some serious stuffing....

"But here's the problem. We haven't yet come up with a name that really suits our new pervertable..."

We never did come up with a name. Stockroom calls their version the Stockade, which is a great name but we never found a name that felt right until a male dominant friend showed us his (very tasty) design. He called his the sphinx. Which was just perfect to snaffle, in part because we live close to a mountain with the same name. So a four year old pervertable finally gets a name, thank you SirTrisk :)

We've not used our "sphinx" for a while, but I directed sol to clean and reassemble it both for our ClubFEM - NSW Orientalist tea party last weekend and because I thought it might be useful at the next Roissy event.

There are an extraordinary range of BDSM restraint furniture designs around, from A frames to bondage chairs to stocks to spanking benches and St Andrew's crosses. Have a look at the list here. Many are designed and manufactured by professional companies, but it's still possible to find books (The Big Book of Sex Toys: From Vibrators and Dildos to Swings and Slings - Playful and Kinky Bedside Accessories That Make Your Sex Life Amazing. Quiver. 2009) and also sites that will help you DIY (one terrific example being Sartan's BDSM Workshop).

Having said that, there are not actually that many designs around for something that restrains the sub on all fours. Which is strange because that position really presents the sub for use in many ways ...one thing I really like about the Stockroom's Stockade is it's absolutely perfect with a fucking machine :) :

You could also work with something like four cuff spreader bars or make Sartan's Folding Doggie Bench ("A simple project creating a small bench/stool-like piece to hold an occupant securely in the doggie-style position. This basic design folds for storage/transportation, and is planned for hardwood construction").

Sol's had some fun over the years, designing BDSM equipment ... everything from the Queening Stool (which has been copied by other D/s couples) to the Ball Presenter. He came up with the "sphinx" because he couldn't find exactly what he wanted ... in particular, he wanted a device with a cock and ball attachment post:

The end result holds his body taut (which keeps scenes at about 10 minutes because it's so uncomfortable):

And his genitals in a VERY vulnerable position lol:

Last time we'd used the "sphinx" sol had not been wearing a chastity device. This time, I really enjoyed tightening the "sphinx's" ball post's black strap (dog collar) above the shiny metal of sol's Jailbird device:

One design problem we've uncovered is the location of the wrist restraints, which sol placed at the end of the wooden bar:

It's very difficult to hold one's arms in position. Here I am undoing the wrist restraints only a few minutes into the scene:

They need to be moved to the same position as the ankle restraints. And really, that's the only problem we encountered. It's a great device and you can have a lot of fun. Once sol was more comfortable I tried a few different implements out on his backside and balls, including our new tiger cane:

Look how beautifully those balls are presented!:

I also used my riding crop, as the flat leather tip was excellent for hard to reach spots:

Our 10 minutes was quickly up so I released him from the "sphinx". To finish up, as a special treat I let him out of his chastity device:

And allowed him to masturbate to orgasm:

It was a short but very effective reintroduction to the "sphinx". I definitely think we'll be using it more now it's been reassembled ... and finally, given a name!

Photos:
Ms160
Stockroom - Stockade

Thank you:
SirTrisk
Stockroom for Stockade product photo

ClubFEM - NSW's "Tantra Tea Party" with Avika de Vine

2011-10-03T12:06:00.010+11:00

Avika de Vine caning her "table"

Last Saturday was ClubFEM - NSW's Orientalist tea party:

"A High Protocol Femdom Tea Party with an Orientalist theme will be Hosted by Mistress160 (Head Mistress of ClubFEM - NSW) in the Byron Bay hinterland on Saturday afternoon 1 October 2011.

"A delectable afternoon tea will be served to Female Dominant Guests by delectable male and female servers. Afternoon entertainments may include:

Fiendish Games and Punishments
Readings of "The Sheik" and other 19th Pornography
"Professional Dominatrix, fetishist, tantrika, conscious kinkster, somatic sexologist and erotic bodyworker" Avika de Vine will share details of her "Exxxtasy Labs ": "just how much pleasure are we humans capable of?"
Slave auctions (for services / playtime after service high protocols are lifted)
Slave dances: Salome's Dance of The Seven Veils / Scheherazade etc (best server dance to be judged by Guests)

"The service component of the afternoon will be strictly High Protocol. Protocols will then be lifted for guests and servers who wish to stay and play. The event will conclude in the early evening...
Bakst - Odalisque from Scheherazade"

The problem was, everyone was sick as dogs. sol and I had been in bed with severe flu since Kinkfest - which included several days with me with no voice at all - and several other attendees had come down with it as well. Plus our honored guest speaker Avika de Vine was only just recovering from being immobilized with a back problem.

During one conversation she'd promised to still attend (lovely photo of Avika here) but was concerned as to how much she could take part. My reply was not to worry, that this particular tea party was going to be less about protocols and more about recovering Female Dominants lying around on couches being served, entertained and pampered. And that's what happened...

Our Orientalist theme got off to a great start with our guests wearing lovely Arabian Nights themed garments. Inspired by the golden Bakst drawing above, here's my outfit:

Here's a detail of the embroidery:

And yes it was rather see through lol ... so I wore a black leotard underneath ... with bare feet. It was lovely to be so comfortable and relaxed at a kinky event. As our servers enjoy crossdressing we adorned them in variations of the classic French Maid attire. This was also the first public event where sol's new chastity device, the Birdlock, was seen:

We began the afternoon informally sitting outside enjoying white wine, cheese and biscuits and the lovely peaceful environment of the venue. At about 2pm we moved inside for tea and sweet foods. The Orientalist theme continued with some lovely teas, two of which were a gift from desertstorm:

These were served in Morrocan tea glasses. I took this photo of all the glasses drying the next day, they looked so pretty:

Sweet food treats included fresh baklava, turkish delight made with rose petals (more delicate than rose water) and Persian sugared figs:

Sol and I had also brought home some wonderful chocolates from Melbourne:

Guests literally reclined on white furs while being offered all these lovely things, while other servers suffered a little objectification as tables:

Avika very kindly still gave her talk about tantra and BDSM. One of the things I adore about Avika is that she is very clear about her many different roles:

"I am a professional Dominatrix, fetishist, tantrika, conscious kinkster, somatic sexologist and erotic bodyworker. I am fascinated by the mindscapes and bodyscapes one can experience through conscious manipulation. I have dedicated my career and personal life to exploring this seemingly unlimited potential. Some states achieved are erotic and others not.."

I've been intrigued by her "Exxxtasy Labs" ("just how much pleasure are we humans capable of?") since she first announced them, and this tea party provided a wonderful forum to hear more about her ideas ... which she immediately put into practice by teaching us breathing exercises to help begin and focus our own tantric / BDSM journeys:

Both sol and I are really looking forward to learning more about this. If you'd like to learn more, you can contact Avika via Fetlife, where she also runs the Conscious Kink group:

"Conscious Kink is the art of deeply engaging with our delicious pervy play in a conscious, intelligent, embodied way for pleasure, self discovery and/or personal transformation. It is the opposite of using kink as a form of escapism or disconnection but instead delves deep into our authentic eroticism and engages all of us, not just our genitals. This kind of play often leads to more satisfying erotic experiences, deeper awareness of our selves, others and All That Is. Play that comes from a consciously authentic place is the most potent form of kink there is..."

You'll also find her websites here:

http://www.mistressavika.com
http://www.schooloferoticarts.com

After our breathing exercises it was time for more tea and some play.... when I mentioned the two new canes we'd purchased at Fetish Expo, Avika tried them out on her "table":

Would impact play on the table's behind cause the chocolates on the plate on his back, to fall? By the end of this scene, the chocolates had certainly moved position ... but they never fell off! Here's a photo of some of the implements Avika used, taken after they were washed the next day:

An equestrian leather wrapped cane on the far left, then the rawhide cane, our Central Asian horsewhip and the two new rattan canes. I'm calling the stripey one the Tiger Cane, and the vendor gave me the name of the last one you can see at far right: Harry Potter's wand! Avika also used my favorite short rattan cane:

I joined her for some bastinado play:

At one point we tried out different angle strokes we'd both learned at NotExcessive's caning workshop:

desertstorm's final marks were delivered via our infamous rawhide cane:

You can see the long white vertical marks it creates here:

During this I'd had other servers kneeling on our plastic carpet protector:

Haven't heard about this "pervertable"? It was something I purchased at Bunnings a month or so ago when we were staying at SirTrisk's. The bumps are very nasty indeed:

Here's sol sitting on it:

desertstorm was also instructed to sit on it ... we'd hoped it would prove painful but sadly his backside was too numb!

It was then time for some serious Mistress pampering, with foot massages and pedicures:

After my massage I upended sol, enjoying the sight of his new chastity device ... the way the metal shaft pulled his balls towards the ground. I began using our new canes on his ass and balls, and then moved on to other CBT toys.

It was well after dark when the party ended. To celebrate the day as well as it being the Xmas Present's birthday, we all piled into our cars and headed to the nearest Thai restaurant. Lots of really fresh Thai food was a perfect finish to the day, but it was sad to say goodbye as everyone headed home in different directions.

I definitely think I'll host another Orientalist tea party. There was a lot of interest in the theme, and the topics we planned to cover. While illness reduced the number of attendees the fact Avika de Vine was still able to attend and still delighted to talk about tantra and BDSM means I'll remember this more as the "tantra tea party". And that makes this tea party very special indeed :)

Photos
Ms160

Images:
MataHari.com
Bakst - Odalisque from Scheherazade

Especial thank you's to
Avika de Vine
for fanning the flames of our interest in tantra and BDSM
and
desertstorm
for traveling so far
to serve us :)

Jailbird - day 2

2011-09-29T17:29:00.000+10:00

It's now day two of sol's Jailbird experience *grin*

Actually, things are going rather well. I allowed him to remove the device so I could show you that so far there has been no pinching or abrasion. Neither on the shaft:

Or under the shaft / balls:

And then it was right back into it again, thank you. I've now locked him up with a more permanent lock:

So our first thoughts about the device are more than positive. There has been a bit of pinching around his PA jewelry, but that's fixed as soon as he adjusts himself.

Next report in another couple of days :)

Photos:

Ms160

Quick update

2011-09-28T08:46:00.003+10:00

Got back from Kinkfest last Sunday but have been really crook with flu I picked up in Melbourne. Doing the bed rest and Dr thing at present but will be back soon to update you about Kinkfest, next weekend's Club Fem - NSW tea party .... and also the arrival of the new chastity device, which is going very well indeed....

Back soon....

The Jailbird arrives...

2011-09-26T17:12:00.000+10:00

Today our new chastity device arrived:

It was a Jailbird device from Mature Metal. As regular readers know we've tried the Bon4 and we've tried the CB6000, you can read about our adventures via this post. We decided we wanted something more custom made, so did our research and ordered one of Mature Metal's designs:

It's been quite well reviewed on ChastityMansion and ChastityForum, where (amongst many other positive reviews) radical posted in June 2011:

"received my new Jailbird early this week and have been wearing it 24/7 since. Having had a string of CBs over the last eight years, including Birdlocked, Sentinel, Exobyte, BON4, Stallion Guard, CB2000, CB3000, CB6000 and CB6000S, I can honestly say this is the best and worth the price."

We thought if it lived up to that it would be doing well indeed :)

Our jailbird came well packaged, and with a hand written note from the makers, a nice touch:

Here's sol's first look at his new "prison":

And here's it's first installation. First the ring:

And then the body:

Followed of course by a lock *grin*:

We immediately liked the look of the thing, and sol felt comfortable wearing it. So we'll now do what we do each time we purchase a device, we'll update every few days and let you know how sol's going and any problems he's experiencing. His main problems with the Bon4 and CBs was abrasion, so the custom made ring should help fix that. And of course the other problem was the plastic of the CB cracking, so at least that's fixed!

Back soon with those updates....

Photos:

Ms160

Jailbird device from Mature Metal website