The Portraits of Kink project began on 19 March 2011...
This was the date Remittance Girl (who always has something interesting to say) (and with whom I share culinary interests) blogged as part of her Write Kink Right project:
In terms of community response, it quickly became clear to Remittance Girl that:"I have often gone on rants about how poorly non-vanilla characters are portrayed in some erotic fiction. I’m pretty sure we’ve all run across the stereotypical impermeable stay-pressed Dominant, the bratty, navel gazing Submissive, the evil and unprincipled Sadist and the mentally ill and most probably sexually abused Masochist. Or we are presented with sexual practices we are unfamiliar with which are either misrepresented by people who know little about them, or presented with the insider view by people who are so normalized to the paradigm that their language is almost impenetrably jargon laden and it is assumed any reader who doesn’t immediately recognize the obvious benefits of the fetish and embrace them immediately must be mad. I can say with total confidence that I have written my share of underdeveloped BDSM leaning characters.
"The problem is, I don’t think any of this is erotic literature – which should be, first and foremost, intelligible. It should also, I think, be able to speak to more than just the initiated. If a story on shoe fetishes doesn’t even attempt to communicate the attraction of the fetish, then it’s basically trade literature written specifically for the sub-culture that already practices it. Also, literature – any literature – should say something true about us. It should speak to us, not just as women or men, kinky or vanilla, gay or straight. It should be able to reach over those boundaries and invite people in to understanding.
"This isn’t to say that simplistic portrayals of kinky characters can’t be arousing. They can. But it is objectification – the simplistic representation of what the writer or the reader, or both, desire. And although that might be good fun to read, and absolutely wank-worthy, it isn’t (by my definition) erotic literature. It’s pornography. I don’t mean that in any derogatory sense. It’s not an insult to either the writers or the readers of this type of material. However there is, in my mind, a very definite difference between material that only appeals to the libido and distills desirable character traits down to their essence and that which represents it in a more holistic and multi-dimensional way. Fantasy is very arousing. But for me, the complex truth always has a more lasting erotic impact.
"Undoubtedly, erotica writers tend to focus on the type of sexuality that intrigues them the most. So there are lots of kinky people out there who also write erotica, but being on the inside isn’t always an advantage. As a writer, you need to at least have some idea of what the view looks like from your reader’s vantage point. This can be extremely difficult if you have been, for instance, a member of a BDSM community for so long you can’t remember what it’s like to have vanilla sex.
"So, in the interests of fostering the writing of more realistic, compelling and engaging kinky characters, I’m inviting people who are practicing doms, subs, masochists and sadists to provide a portrait of themselves as people. If you would like to participate in this, I’d be very grateful. However, I want to limit my portraits to people who have identified themselves within the spectrum of kink for an extended period of time, and have, after a period of introspection, become comfortable in their understanding of themselves. You don’t have to be a member of a scene, or publicly ‘out’ at all. Just be comfortable with your orientation for a reasonable length of time .... I will provide you with a list of questions for anyone willing to participate..."
"this collection of portraits served more that its intended goal. Many people have communicated their interest in the portraits as a validation of their own lifestyle choices, as a representation of a community of BDSM practitioners, and a good outreach and education tool for the sexually normative world.As a curator myself I sincerely supported Remittance Girl's project. And in fact you'll find interviews with both sol and myself on the site:"I’ve decided that this collection of self-portrait and personal histories deserved to stand on its own, and have a home of its own, and so www.portraitsofkink.com was established.
"All I request as a curator is that you appreciate the very personal nature of these self-portraits. That you appreciate the generosity, the candor and the honesty that went into them and that you do not use the material here for commercial or exploitative purposes. As strange as some of these people’s lives may seem to you, they are people – just like you"
We were honored to take part quite early in the project, which meant that - because I'm a curator *grin* - I also hung around to see how the project developed. Remittance Girl later wrote:
So how did Remittance Girl feel about all the results?"A while back, I proposed a project and asked people who saw themselves as non-vanilla if they’d be willing to answer some questions about themselves in the interest of providing greater insight and some reality-based templates for erotica authors to work from...
"I got a great many letters of interest and sent out a total of 28 questionnaires. I got back a total of 13 – just under 50%. I’m not sure how a response rate of 50% gets judged. I don’t know whether it’s good or bad. And it needs to be acknowledged that the questionnaire was very long, required written answers as opposed to check-boxes or scales, and asked the respondents to go into a lot of depth about their early understanding of themselves – including some of the negative aspect of living outside the sexual mainstream..
"Some respondents chose to stick close to the questions, some elected to use the questions as a guide and gave a more essay-style response and some went for a hybrid approach. I knew that this would mean the responses would not be consistent but I felt it was important to allow people to tell their stories the way they felt most comfortable. Also, this isn’t a sociology or psychology study. These are portraits for literary purposes and, as such, the approach, the tone, and the variation in the way the subjects addressed the questions all play a part in letting you know about themselves..."
I agree with that last sentence. It was quite hard filling in that questionnaire. I had to be brutally honest. I very purposely avoided certain questions to start ... and made sure I answered them at the end! The new website also led to interesting issues regarding presentation:"I have been over the moon with the results .... I’d like to express my respect for everyone who took the time and thought to participate. Opening oneself up to this very personal, very intimate inquiry is an act of great generosity. It’s easy to blog when you’re in control of the things you want to reveal or keep private; giving answers to someone else’s questions is not as easy.."
Another interesting question was then raised regarding the use of images in the project:"I gave a lot of thought about how to present these portraits. Should they be presented all at once, one at a time, or perhaps present them in pairs. Should I pair like with like or opposites?
"Ultimately I decided that there really was no like-with-like or opposites. These people all represent points on a very complex continuum. They all deserved to stand on the page individually. So I’ve decided to post one profile a day to avoid the propensity we all have for making comparisons or for perceiving of something as having less value because it comes in an abundance. All of these people are unique. And all have been gracious participants"
"When I began to lay out this site ... I blithely sent all the participants an email saying: ‘Hey, send me a pic if you want!’. And some did. Wonderful photos. So when available, I would post their photo to their profile page. Seemed like a very good idea at the time.All kudos to Remittance Girl for creating such an important project :)"After the first flush new profiles came in, I started to worry about the pictures. Not that they all weren’t yummy and delicious, they were! They were way too yummy and delicious. This was the first problem.
"Given the choice, humans will take in and form impressions 90% faster with a picture than with text. And this project was supposed to be all about the text – the story of these people’s journey to and through the world of alternate sexuality. This project was about writing and reading their stories in their own words. It’s about listening carefully, not first impressions.
"The second problem was that some of the project participants weren’t comfortable about giving a picture. I began to feel that having images on some profiles but not all, would put pressure on the people who were reluctant. I really didn’t want that. I wanted them to feel absolutely comfortable with whatever they were willing to offer.
"Finally, stories are hard to compare against each other. We form understandings of the text in our minds, but it’s abstract. We create the images as we read. It is much easier to consume the profiles at a superficial level if there are pictures to be had, and much easier to make ‘comparisons’.
So… long story. No more pics on the profile pages. I’ve still retained the images, when provided, on the small icon images on the front page, but no one’s story is there on the front. I felt that fulfilled both my need for visual design aesthetic, and my hope for a deeper and conceptual understanding of kink on the portrait pages...."
When you visit the site, bookmark it so you'll return often. There is always something new to read ... and I love discovering that friends and other kinky bloggers I admire have suddenly appeared.
Will Portraits of Kink really makes a difference? Only time will tell ... and I'm not saying that lightly. A project like this NEEDS time, both from the contribution point of view and in regards to those who access the site to utilize the information it contains. And the latter group may be a wider audience than Remittance Girl originally imagined. Already the site has proved a useful resource for kinksters. Remittance Girl discovered that the project has:
"given me a lot of insight into how people grow into their kinks, and when and how they integrate them into their lives. Some felt strongly that it was a deeply significant part of their essential being and others felt it was simply an aspect of it. Some found it easy to live with one foot in the vanilla world, others found it impossible"While Molly at MollysDailyKiss, found:
You can now read Molly's "Portraits of Kink" interview here :). I sincerely encourage other kinksters to share their stories so that this terrific project can achieve it's extraordinary potential and become a major resource."As I started to read these portraits I found myself completely drawn in, she was right; these were fascinating, honest portrayals of real people and their lives. They showed that although we might be Dom or sub we were also people too, not just one-dimensional sexual characters. This project was an opportunity to show people in the vanilla world something very different about ‘kink’ lifestyles.
"Maybe it is that element of this project that spoke to me the most. My D/s relationship has been the cause of ongoing friction with family who cannot understand that the relationship I share with Sir is loving, tender, caring, passionate and deeply fulfilling for both of us, they view it with suspicion and in fact believe that it is the complete opposite of this. They think I am being preyed upon, that I am weak, that I am foolish and that he is manipulative and has brain washed me in some way.
"Could a project like this help to change their minds? I have no idea so far I have not been brave enough to share it with them. Currently we seem to have found a slight peace with each other and I am loathed to disturb that by bring the subject up but if that changes then I hope that maybe The Portraits of Kink just might be able to help them understand..
"I took the questions from the site and answered them with an honest and open heart and mind..."
0 comments:
Post a Comment