(photo provenance unknown)Regular readers might recall MzAntonina and myself are hosting a high protocol tea party in Sydney next week. I posted about it here. The Fetlife event page reads in part:
Sol and I have been assembling the birch rods:"A High Protocol Femdom Tea Party with a Victorian theme will be Hosted by Mistress160 (Head Mistress of ClubFEM - NSW) and MzAntonina at the House of Wafflé in Sydney on Saturday afternoon, 28 May.
"This ClubFEM - NSW event will commemorate and honor the memory of MsGawjusRedhead, an inaugural member of ClubFEM - NSW.
"Historically correct afternoon tea will be served to Female Dominant Guests by male servers. The afternoon will also include:
- Fiendish Games (including some MsGawjusRedhead was very fond of) and Punishments
- Readings of Victorian Pornography
- Lessons in Birching
- Art Lessons (Drawing Naked Subs)
We plan to tie them up with something special (black velvet ribbons to commemorate MsGawjusRedhead's Black Sash events) and then give each guest some birch rods to take home:
The ones coming interstate will have fun packing them *grin*.
MzA is looking after the catering side of things, while I've focused more on the invites and drafting the protocol program, and working on other events for our guests to enjoy that Saturday. Quite a few of us hope to start the day with a visit to Gallery Serpentine, for last minute costume inspiration. Then after the tea party, in the evening, most of us are attending Uberplay May:
"uber opens its doors and invites you to a luxurious evening of decadent debauchery. where elegance, fetish and bdsm exist in a space far removed from the day-to-day.I think our guests will enjoy it :). And then, bed will be lovely thank you very much.
"uberplay is exactly that. an event revolving around play. light play mingles with heavy play. from the spontaneous and impromptu, through to the more planned and deliberate of exhibitionist scenes, there is always something to see and hear. step through our door, and the night is all about you.
"from canapés served by attentive waiters, to dedicated bar staff waiting to pour your drinks, we are there to make your evening seemless. so you can relax, explore, and be the person that you really are.
"as a play party, it has no equal. we invite you inside…"
One thing that has been frustrating is the number of people who put themselves down as attending / possibly attending on the event page. You can upload your own event page on Fet, but you can't edit who puts themselves down as attending, which is a real hassle for invitation only events. The event page makes the invite process clear:
We ended up having to add:"This is a small, invitation only event at a private home and places are limited. Preference will be given to those who have attended and served at ClubFEM - NSW events, but everyone must contact the organizers to request a place. New servers (including the subs of Female Dominants Guests not known to the organizers) will be considered but are required to fill in a questionnaire to confirm suitability, and attend a High Protocol service training afternoon.
"If you are interested in attending - as either a Guest or server - or are interesting in attending or serving at future Femdom tea parties / ClubFEM - NSW events please drop ClubFEM - NSW Head Mistress160 or MzAntonina a private line"
"PLEASE NOTE: We are getting quite a few people registering attendance / possible attendance without contacting the organizers. To repeat: we are very sorry but without contacting / confirming your invitation from MzAntonina and Mistress160 you will not be on the guest list"It may sound trivial but as I responded to one young woman who had put herself down ("I am only down as a maybe for the ClubFEM tea party...that was more or less for my own calendar remindings on FL.") :
"with respect may I point out that for private events you seriously screw things up for both organizers and other guests treating event pages as a personal calendar."In this case, because of your connection with [a mutual friend], we could easily have catered for you. It also wrongly allows other guests to assume you are invited, and also part of the planning process (which in this case has been going on for three months .... so for example other guests have asked what you are wearing, and what protocols you use in your own D/s).
"Would you put yourself down for Uber, if you have not contacted Dee and requested a ticket? Of course not. Our event is the same"
We had one really weird post turn up on a thread in the ClubFEM - NSW group, from a couple neither MzA or I knew at all, but that other friends have confirmed are nice people, which made their post even stranger. It was written in response to someone posting about attending:
"@*** and any future comers:I wrote back:
If per chance your not in the 'click", lick arse or are a want to be - YOUR ARE NOT INVITED!!"
"your message is hard to understand, but you certainly seem angry about something, so I'll try to respond.That last line is actually important for another reason I'd like to point out. That particular thread contains several posts from men wanting to attend the tea party. But here's the thing: if you want to serve at a high protocol Femdom event, then you put yourself into the zone and read any instructions you are given regarding that event very carefully. When organizers say:"Assuming you mean ""clique" by "click", I can assure you there isn't one. Any Femdom oriented couple can join their local ClubFEM branch. You could attend events either with ClubFEM - NSW members or even with ClubFEM - ACT, which is not too far away and which has lots of terrific events happening at the moment.
"As for this specific event, attendance preference is being given to friends of MsGawjusRedhead, as the tea party is being organized for those friends to remember her. But this is a very popular event and there will be many new faces there, with guests and servers hoping to travel from the ACT, NSW, QLD, Tas, even New Zealand. You would both have been most welcome, if you'd contacted the organizers privately as requested above"
"If you are interested in attending - as either a Guest or server - or are interesting in attending or serving at future Femdom tea parties / ClubFEM - NSW events please drop ClubFEM - NSW Head Mistress160 or MzAntonina a private line"That means: a private line. It's a high protocol event, for God's sake. Let's be honest here - I don't have time to write to everyone on public threads who can't follow the first and only instruction they've so far received. It doesn't bode well for their following orders later.
Because it was a high protocol event we also insisted that in the case of couples wishing to attend, that we correspond - prior to issuing an invite to a new couple - with the female dominant partner. Boy, we had some men complain about THAT. But apart from the courtesy side of it, we NEED to get to know these women because the protocols that we created for the event are devised with their input.
And we've had so much fun with that side of it. And it's been interesting, working with other Dommes and finding out their own D/s rules and rituals. For example, while we've all agreed to leave speech and gaze restrictions as part of the servers' protocols, we all decided to ditch the commonly used "subs will speak in the third person" protocol because it universally drove everyone mad!
I think it's going to be a really great day. And I'm looking forward very much to seeing old friends again and meeting new ones.
I'll let you know how things go. Right now sol and I are driving to Sydney to spend a couple of nights with MzAntonina and MacTheKnife, so we'll be back online in a day or so....
Ms160
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