"A dominatrix frame of mind" (the vanilla fashion world imitates Kink)

It's always nice when the vanilla world pays homage.

"Look at that amazing belt" I said to sol a few weeks back, as we perused a shop for trendy young female clothing, where I sometimes parade him for forced feminization lessons.

The belt was less a belt and more a corset, covering from breasts to hips. Black. Tight. Alas, way too easy to get in and out of, lol, but I rather liked the idea of dressing a female sub in it ... for her day to day job of course not for anything kinky. After all if the vanilla world wants to imitate kinky fashions then let's make sure the designs are seen.

A week or so later I found another example of cross kink fashion in another mainstream store. I won't tell you here what it was because I plan to wear it for sol's birthday weekend, when we have several nights in Sydney to celebrate with kinky friends. But it is made of the softest, softest black leather....

As I tried it on I recalled the twitter of horror last year amongst international fashion editors when latex outfits and tights appeared on the catwalk at London Fashion Week. Slick at rubberist.net made a list of the designers who used latex:

"Daryl K (a few leggings often with long tops)
Wunderkind (used as stockings with somewhat long skirts).
Hussein Chalayan (black leggings with short dresses)
Belstaff (some leggings and pants - may or may not be latex)
Manish Arora (black leggings with just about everything)
Gardem (one outfit which uses latex or PVC leggings)

"Other than one latex dress (by House of Holland), I didn't notice any other latex. There was some PVC here and there, but I don't remember by whom (except for Gareth Pugh and Haider Ackermann)"

This trend was picked up by top UK designer labels like Topshop and Temperley London. "Latex love! ... latex leggings: love them or leave them!" yowled fashion bloggers as they reproduced photos of celebrities with tight shiny legs.

Who was inspired enough to start such a trend? The newsletter of Libidex, those extraordinary latex artisans in London, revealed all (quoted here by latex and doll fetishist Dolls Realm):

"We were approached last month to produce a large quantity of our classic tights for renowned and innovative fashion designer Manish Aurora. These were used to great effect alongside his outlandish designs in this year's London Fashion Week at the Natural History Museum, London at the start of February.

"Subsequently, our lovely tights have been splashed all over the magazines and papers, with full page spreads in the top London newspapers, (although you would think that by now some journalists would be able to tell the difference between pvc and rubber!)"

Come on, don't be silly, why would they do that? After all it's just the vanilla world dipping it's toe into fetish fashions ... sadly they don't have all consuming pvc or rubber fetishes to make the construction material become rabidly erotic for them! Which meant they found the rather restrictive and tricky means of getting in and out of latex seriously a pain, lol, as handbag blogger Emma Sells reported here:

"The tights were particularly fascinating to me – I asked one of the models about them and she said that it took three people and a tub of talc to get her in, but once on they were very comfy and warm. I look forward to seeing them in Topshop next season, if only so I can see the look of horror on my boyfriend’s face when I ask him to help me manoeuvre into them"

Horror is a good word. It was all too much for some fashionistas, who took the trend and reworked the base material into something more acceptable. "Acceptable" being my term. The word in the fashion industry was "evolution", as in (this quote coming from a review of the recent Australian Fashion Week):

"Present in every second collection this week - and of course an evolution from the growing northern hemisphere runways/high street obsession with Latex-look leggings and skinny black leather jeans"

"Latex-look"???? *sigh!!* I love Australian designers Sass & Bide (who's latest "latex look" “Black Rat” high-shine, ruched, Lycra acetate leggings you can see below) but ..... God forbid the vanilla world keep wearing the real thing, lol!


Then again, perhaps there is a glimmer of hope...

As Ms160 tries on her pseudo kinky item at the counter she recalls a local vanilla fashion editor's recent gushing comments:

"Vamp it up! Kinky boots, vampish buckles, patent black belts and a dominatrix frame of mind. You're the ultimate urban warrior!".

Oh indeed.

"A dominatrix frame of mind" is now a thing to aspire to. How delightful. Let's pervert 'em en masse, muses Ms160 as she watches the bright young things flutter and chatter around the shop like a flock of brightly colored birds ... then spots one young woman alone in the crowd, who's eyes - as quietly amused as her own - are drawn to the same item Ms160 is holding. "That looks amazing on you" says the young woman.

"Yes", replies Ms160. And smiles. "Why don't you try it on?"

(pix:
Sass and Bide xposted from The New Black: from leggings to Loligoths
Celebrities in latex xposted from here)

Networking for erotic humiliation + orgasm denial

We've had several regulars from the erotic humiliation / orgasm denial sites and MyDungeonSpace's groups of the same name (set up by the owner of EH and OD) drop us a line about the sites being offline, and the MDS groups apparently deleted.

Some great news: for those of you interested in OD you absolutely must check out the new site, which is up and running and looks terrific. The administrator / owner writes:

"We are continuing to make improvement to this site to bring you new features and exciting new content. Right now we are in alpha and very much testing the system. We will keep you updated on new developments as they happen. If you are an old user, check your username and password. We were not able to recover all user accounts from the database, unfortunately. If your username is not found, you will need to re-register"

Efforts are being concentrated on OD for now, but it's hoped that EH will be recovered later, from a 2005 database. The same software as MDS is now being used for OD, so don't forget to not only check out the forum but create a profile for yourself. Keep an eye on the groups page, too. In the mean time I've re-established groups on these topics for MDS members...

(remember: joining MDS - and the new Orgasm Denial site - is free)

• Orgasm Denial
  
• My Dungeon Space - Erotic Humiliation group
• My Dungeon Space - Erotic Sexual Denial (incl: OD / T&D etc) group

BDSM Skill Share Workshops at Uber, Sydney

Photo taken by Ms160 of Lukas Zpira and Satomi

during a body modification seminar at Uber

BDSM educational events...

For many of us they are not only the way we begin to develop real time play skills, they are also our introduction into real time, the place we started to establish kinky networks. I can still remember the first time sol and I attended a weekend of workshops by Fetish Diva Midori. We looked around and realized that the room was full of normal looking people (well, most of them, lol) who happened to be as perverted as us. At Lukas Zpira's body modification seminar at Uber in Sydney last year, I learned the rudiments of cutting skin and strike branding...

Oh, the joy of meeting like minded friends, of learning new BDSM skills! The joy of anticipating overseas business trips / holidays where I might be able to attend a few kinky educational events! I had to do that, because so few used to be held here in Australia. I was so envious of some American couples like (for example) Eileen and maymay, who seemed surrounded by constant kinky educational input in New York. I remember thinking they would find Sydney a very different situation - something may recently confirmed on his blog:

"Earlier, I wrote that I think the Sydney BDSM scene is suffering from a lack of educational programming. I’m glad that I’m not the only one that thinks so. I’ve had numerous conversations with people in the scene here who would like to start seeing educational events becoming common place, and many Australians are eager and able to contribute. Especially noteworthy in this arena is Mistress 160, who runs what is probably the best informational blog about BDSM in the entire region, and has been doing so for quite a while [Ms 160: of course I had to leave that bit in]

"Of course, the World Wide Web is probably the single greatest tool we as kinky people have in our efforts to educate each other and make information easily accessible. Bridging the gap between the online world and the physical world, however, isn’t easy. Ultimately, every Web site and cyberspace venue is really a support structure for meatspace venues and real-world events where people meet with other people face-to-face"

May is 200% right about this. It's something I've been very aware of for some time, especially reinforced at the moment as I write the forthcoming BDSM For Beginners "Going Real Time" series. It's always frustrated me how few educational events are held here in Oz. When they do take place they are usually linked to Australasian visits by people - Midori, Lukas Zpira and Satomi, etc - who may accurately terms "scene superstars". While local extremely skilled and articulate kinksters may appear on the program, it's a rare educational event that features Australians as the main attraction. May makes a VERY important point about this:

"The Sydney BDSM scene suffers from a lack of educational events. The people here seem just as capable of doing excellent BDSM as they are in the states, but they’re not talking about it to anyone, not even each other. Most of them seem afraid to, as if doing so will give them a bad reputation. It seems okay for me for to do it, since I’m from New York City and all, but for some reason, they think they couldn’t possibly have anything to teach me.

"I’m hoping to help change this and over time I’d really love to see more educational events run by local people, advertising local speakers, promoted hand-in-hand with parties and munches "

Aware of this, I hoped to enlist Eileen and may in my ongoing attempts to encourage local educational events. This has worked very well so far! First I made their presence known to Kitten at Kink-E Magazine - they will both feature in the next issue. Then I introduced them to Mistress Dee at Uber.

Uber has recently played a prominent role in bringing "scene superstar" educators to Sydney - regular readers will remember my posts about Lukas Zpira and Satomi. I've been driving Mistress Dee nuts, I'm sure, with my desperate yowls these last few months for more BDSM educational events. Luckily she is as enthusiastic as I am on the subject of BDSM education, and equally understands the need. Even better, she is in a position to actually be able to do something to redress the problem, bless her ...

Uber is now holding regular Skill Sharing Workshops. I think Mistress Dee has chosen that title with great insight and care. It counters not only the Tall Poppy Syndrome maymay picked up on, but that part of the Australian psyche that still believes anything we do is inferior to our kinky friends overseas. Every word is positive - we want to learn new "skills" and "share" those we possess, we are happy to "workshop" with others in an informal environment, where some of us might bolt from something more organized and rigid. But from these smaller workshops the network for holding larger public events will grow.

I drew Eileen and maymay's Sexual Teasing and Denial presentation to Mistress Dee's attention and was delighted when she invited them to hold the inaugural workshop. Sol and I were unable to attend, alas, as that was the weekend we had to pack our possessions in a Hertz truck and drive two thousand kms. But from all I've heard the workshop was very successful indeed. May noted on his blog:

"Eileen and I were absolutely thrilled to present Sexual Teasing and Denial at the inaugural über Skill Share Workshops hosted by the generous (and fabulous) Mistress Dee at her über dungeon and BDSM playspace. Eileen and I have done this presentation quite a few times before, once at TES-TNG, once at Conversio Virium, and once at the first-ever Floating World. I’m not at all exaggerating when I say that this time, the presentation was the best it’s ever been, with an uninterrupted nearly two-hour long talk that included wonderful questions from and discussion with the audience"

And we missed it. Bugger! Here are some of the comments they received:

Informative - finally something that speaks to dominant women
Excellent. Very knowledgeable and enthusiastic presenters. Interesting anecdotes and comments
Very informative
Excellent, very constructive and professional
Informative, fun and very horny :-)
Inspirational and realistic. Really interesting topic and well presented Informative, well presented, good structure and extremely worthwhile
It was great.
Very informative. It was a friendly environment

If may will forgive my quoting him a bit further, his post takes on another topic near to my heart:

"Now, back in the United States, Eileen and I have done a few other presentations in the past in addition to this one on chastity, orgasm denial, and orgasm control. We’ve been in attendance at countless others, too. Some of these presentations were really fantastic. At a minimum, these kinds of presentations always made me want to go straight home and pull Eileen into bed with me, or at least go out to dinner afterwards and have a long debate about whatever the topic of the presentation was.

"Unfortunately, most of the time I didn’t really find presentations that engaging at all. In a few of the worst cases, I’ve literally fallen asleep. That’s right, I’m in a room full of people who are all talking about sex and BDSM and getting off and it’s been so boring that I’ve literally fallen asleep.

"Over time, I’ve learned that there’s a distinct skill in teaching or speaking to others about what you know that’s entirely separate from just being good at that thing you’re talking about. So, in an effort to document some of those things that should probably be common-sense but clearly aren’t, here’s a list of things you can do to make your presentation for a BDSM educational event not suck..."

I might point out, as an aside here, one advantage of Australia's only accessing "scene superstars" is that their teaching skills are usually excellent - that's why they are "superstars" lol - so some of you may not have experienced may's sleep problem. But I know EXACTLY what he means. So at this point I'll stop xposting and suggest anyone interested in presenting - as well as BDSM educational event organizers - go read may's post and (most importantly) make a link to it, for future reference.

Now. Back to Uber. Forthcoming Skill Sharing Workshops include:

Sunday 4th May 2008: Hellfire XS Recovery - Chilled sounds and lounging
and general chit-chat about the things we like playing with.
BYO alcohol and beroccas! [Cost $10, Start time: 2.30pm. Approx ?????? hrs ]

Sunday 18th May 2008: Rope Bondage 101 - Always thought that rope
work looked HOT, but way too difficult? While it is definitely an artform
for some, it can also just be sexy and fun.
Come and learn the basics
[Cost $10, Start time: 2.30pm. Approx 2 hrs ]

Sunday 1st June 2008: How to turn your Lounge/Dining Room into a dungeon for $50 or less-
Not all of us have access to a fully equipped Playroom at home,
so our in-house inventive Dom puts together a scene
with a budget of $50 for toys and equipment. See what can be
done on a tight play budget & perhaps share your own ideas on DIY play.
[Cost $10, Start time: 2.30pm. Approx 2 hrs ]

Do these sound scary? No. Do they sound fun? Yes. Are you courageous enough to go? Absolutely. Seriously, if you are in Sydney go along to these events. SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL DUNGEON, lol, especially when they are trying to support YOU. And don't forget before you leave to give a big thank you to Mistress Dee for making these workshops happen.

Some workshops will be for BDSM beginners, others for the more experienced. If you have any topics you'd especially like to see covered, drop Uber a line. I know Mistress Dee has some wonderful ideas brewing. As for me ... hmm ... perhaps it's time to start harassing Kitten (from Kink-E Magazine) about holding educational workshops at her new Coffee Kink Gallery venue in Melbourne...

(Top photo: Lukas Zpira + Satomi, photographer: Ms160
Bottom photo: courtesy: Uber website)

ADD / BDSM

We've had several visitors recently who have come to this blog after googling "adult Attention Deficit Disorder" and "BDSM".

There is not really much on the internet on this subject. Although Sol has ADD it's not something we've written much about - google picked up my articles on kinky mental health issues (in Kink-E Magazine) rather than anything about our personal experiences.

If by any chance those visitors return, and if you are seeking help with a particular issue to do with ADD and BDSM, please feel free to drop either myself or sol a line in the comments section. All comments are currently moderated so we can keep your correspondence private if you prefer.

Ms160 and sol become eco kinksters...

The Great Move is nearly over...

Sol drove over two thousand kilometres in a rental truck last week to move all our possessions to our new property (of course this occurred the weekend Eileen and may may were presenting their educational workshop at Uber in Sydney, blast it, so we couldn't go). I drove up with him and helped unpack before flying back to our old home to finalize it's sale. Sol remains up north, already working (before even our clothes are out of packing boxes!) on creating some of the larger BDSM items we can use freely now that we are miles from the nearest town.

We can't wait to take our D/s relationship further with our new freedom from suburbia. Yes, you'll get to read all about it, I promise ... but you'll also have to cope with reading the odd rant as these two spoilt city kinksters adapt to their new eco environment (how the hell to you adapt electrical toys to solar?? what do you mean candles have uses other than for wax play?? eek there's a huge spider on the flogger!!).

We'll be back with you very soon...

(those of you interested in eco kinkster issues
might like to join our friend poppet's
new group on the subject at MyDungeonSpace)

(photos: Ms160)

Being a 21st century Domme...

The evening of the kayak incident, back at our play cabin, we continued our interrupted scene...

We have quite a large collection of old Femdom magazines and we had brought a pile to the cabin. I had in mind a particular use for one issue....

I directed a naked solipsist onto the floor on a thick white towel, and positioned his head in the queening stool prototype (you can see earlier pix of the prototype at left and above and read about it's construction at that last link). Wearing only a clingy black t shirt I sat down on the stool, facing his body.

Sol would have been happy simply to have been allowed to use his tongue on me but I had other plans to increase our enjoyment. With a cane on one hand and Issue 20 of "Mistress" magazine ("devoted to feminine domination") in the other, I began reading one of sol's favorite stories / "letters" out loud...

The "star letter" in question features some of sol's favorite service themes. It is supposedly written by a Domme named Caroline in response to earlier correspondence from "Strict Wife", who rejects "malevolent forms of FemDom", preferring to allow her slave a certain amount of comfort / pleasure when performing his duties. "This is NOT a good practice", writes Caroline:

"A slave must serve his Mistress in whatever way she requires ... a slave's physical comfort in my view is not something we should be worrying about!"

She then goes on to provide details of her own, very strict relationship with her husband / slave, including a recent scene with other female dominant friends, which begins:

"[he] is frequently paraded before my friends naked, or nearly so, and they need no encouragement to make the most of his vulnerability. My slave / husband must wait upon my friends as he does me; serving drinks, lighting cigarettes [NOTE FROM Ms160: that shows the age of the magazine issue lol!] and fulfilling all sorts of requirements. He gets so embarrassed when..."

And no, I am not going to type out the whole story, sorry! The rather dated accompanying photos show a very embarrassed sub, underpants firmly in place, pouring wine for several lingerie clad and bejeweled women with very big hair, and presenting his ass for a caning:

"When [we] finished his arse was a most breath taking sight. The six fresh stripes were a bright scarlet and stood out vividly against the mottled bruising from a previous session"

I silently raised an eyebrow. While both sol and I find great erotic appeal in the English "six of the best" caning tradition, if I only gave sol six cane strokes he'd expire of boredom, no matter how scarlet or perfectly they were placed. But that's classic Femdom porn for you - and it certainly makes great reading. Now Caroline was providing details of how her sexual needs were met and of the "penile restraint device" her husband wears, which:

"fulfills all the requirements stipulated by Strict Wife except one: she requires a restrainer that is "reasonably comfortable" even when the penis is excited. Of course my device would not be comfortable if [my husband] had an erection - nor would I wish it to be! Such a stipulation is in my view unrealistic and indeed, impossible ... any restrainer worthy of the name must at the very least be capable of restraining an erection ... and is bound to cause discomfort to the owner of the organ"

I had to admit I agreed with the writer on this matter. It was amusing to imitate her arrogant, instructional tone ("I shall try to find the time to write to you again ... my experiences may be of assistance to some of your lady readers") as I read aloud for about 20 minutes. I took my time. After all, I was greatly enjoying myself...

Sometimes I allowed sol to service me with his tongue, positioning myself so that he could lick my pussy and clit, or (an especial favorite) rim me. Other times as I continued reading I moved myself out of reach or played with myself, or caned his cock and balls. Sol told me later he found the scene very erotic - playing with the queening stool prototype was as much of a turn on as he'd imagined.

He also loved the fact he could tell when I was becoming turned on. The intimacy of the queening stool is really quite extraordinary. After I'd finished the letter I looked down at the beloved body beneath me, imprisoned by my own body without a single lock or rope, totally subservient to my wishes and desires. No wonder I was wet with desire myself.

"I bet you never dreamed when you first read this letter years ago", I remarked, swatting sol's extremely exposed and vulnerable cock and balls with the rolled up magazine, "that it would one day be read to you by your dominant wife while you were secured in a queening stool beneath her". He couldn't speak of course, as his tongue was otherwise engaged, lol, but his rock hard cock waggled fervently in response!

After putting him in restraints for some corporal punishment - and again cursing the loss of our digital camera, which is still in the river - I positioned sol flat on the floor again, then straddled his hips. I brought myself down on his cock, hard, and - gripping his rather sore nipples to keep him still - moved above him until we both came.

Afterwards in bed, curled up together, I found myself grinning as a line from the letter came back to me ("of course I would never dream of bringing him off myself. The very idea is repugnant to me") as I recalled our amazing day, from the kayak scene to allowing my husband to come ... and in ME!! Caroline from "Mistress" magazine would have been utterly appalled by this particular 21st century Domme!

(Photos: Ms160)